True Story:

So when I was a big burly mean looking prison Cop that looked constipated and obviously part chipmunk: 

I had a crazy inmate who was very violent...One day while giving him his medication he snatched an inhaler and refused to give it back.

Sooooooo I went in with 2 partners and we got it back...Gently as a lamb of course...You wearing a fucking wire?  You a fucking fed?

Anyways we had him all jacked up as he was trying to kick, punch, spit at us...He was yelling "You fucking pieces of shit!  I'll kill you! yadda yadda yadda!"

Then as he was yelling I did this:

He looked shocked...My partners looked shocked.

I said "You going to be good?"

He said "Yes."

I said "You want your meds and to get a shower?"

He said "Yes."

I said "Are we going to have any more issues tonight?"

He said "No."

And all was good in the kingdom...Sadly Newsom released him about a year ago where he went on a crime streak and now he's back...I had hoped he had ODed...But no such luck.

They stuck him in the Asylum side, but I would see him from time to time when he saw me his eyes would light up and he would touch his nose and say "Boop."

Surreal Noodle's Story #948272