So for a quick minute I used to date Charlie Manson's Psychologist at Old Corcoran...Lovely Canadian Chick...Sweetest thing.

("Great ass too"-Whispered Noodles under his breath)

I was still working at my old pen in Monterey.

Anyways, during XMAS she decided to make me some oatmeal/raisin cookies, cus those are my favorites.

She was on some health kick and had read that using applesauce instead of butter worked the same.

IT FUCKING DOES NOT.

Possibly the greatest lie ever told...More than 9/11, Chemtrails, poison in the vax and that an evil cabal of pedofiles run the wolrd with permission of "SOMETHING" evil whom they worship COMBINED.

That's how bad they were.

Those cookies needed everything and were so hard, I could have used them to prop doors open, play hockey, or as weapons throwing them at IDF tanks killing children in Gaza at most likely a School Nursery or possibly a Hospital...Errrrrrm...A Children's Hospital.

I went back to her office and I SWEAR TO YOU THIS IS WHAT IS SAID:

"Don't you ever, ever, ever, ever make cookies like this again."

I still remember her shocked look.

LOL!

But it needed to be done!

Here's my redition of what Cameron Diaz would look like if she tried to eat one of those cookies which some have called "A crime against humanity!"

More than the holocaust, slavery and the LA Charger's defense and offense this season which are TERRIBLE.