I didn't get much sleep last night, as I came home late after working on a group project with classmates until almost midnight. In spite of being tired, I had to peel myself out of bed this morning and take the kids to school (late, but I still got them there). 

Not much to report, except more fighting with spouse (this time about money). I often wonder how much is too much to help a spouse or significant other financially? In helping this person I share children with, am I being a life partner or a chump? My bank account gets zeroed every month because he asks for so much help with bills. We're super behind on water, trash, and electricity bills. If it wasn't for my emptying my bank account, he would have been late with rent and the mortgage and received negative credit reporting; this is not the first time he has asked for help paying for housing and other bills. Is there a point that I should put my foot down and say enough is enough?

I was especially frustrated because in spite of giving him money, he requested more; per reviewing the bank statement, he was asking for more because he had a charge from TikTok. Why am I responsible for paying for his social media usage???

I can't help but feel that I am being taken advantage of. He was paying for these bills before, but then switched jobs for his mental health; he is now only making two-thirds of what he used to make. But now my mental health is suffering because he's so reliant on my pittance of a paycheck. What little there is of my pitiful paycheck disappears everytime he asks me to pay for a bill. And he has the audacity to get mad at me for cutting my work hours to go back to school; double standard much? 

On top of which, he is emotionally abusive (especially if he's low on nicotine or skipped a day of taking his Prozac), raging out at me for not being more helpful with the kids, not helping out more financially, not working more hours, or accusing me of being verbally abusive to him--which is an absolute projection. He vomits an emotion-laden rant on me and then has the audacity to accuse me of being toxic and manipulative? And then threatens, "You'll see, you'll be sorry," hinting that he will get back at me once he makes it big financially.

I almost wonder whether I would even be on meds if not for the emotional upheaval this person has introduced. 

I wish I could get a clean cut divorce from this person with the peace of mind that he wouldn't do something foolish or punative to lash out at me (like sell the house, request spousal support, fight for child custody, or get an even lower paying job so that he could be a leech). Yes, he is that petty, small, and mean-spirited. I am so sorry I had children with this person.

As I type out my frustration, I can hear him on the phone asking family members for more money.