Urgh. The next Two days will require a lot of patience and swallowing my pride and anger and hurt in order to maintain the peace. ... Let's see how long it takes this year until I'm asked to me "more considerate" and "stop being hurt" because someone has metal issues and "can't help being like this" while they trampled all over me, Knowing I also have mental issues, without any mercy or consideration for my feelings and my mental health issues Holidays are fun...

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So turns out all those people who told me that going outside for a walk was good for my mental health were right.

The suicidal thoughts are coming back. I feel so left behind in life. I have no career. I have a dead end job, I live at home, and I isolate myself due to the inevitable daily avalanches of shame and guilt that I deal with everyday. I've been exercising to try and fight the bad thoughts and emotions and that has been helping along with meditation, but fuck; it's like an uphill battle! I hate my job, i hate my life, and how everything looks so bleak and everything feels so fucking heavy. I don't like being a downer. Usually, I keep this kind of stuff to myself, but I just wanted to vent somewhere. Maybe this might bring an audience or maybe not, I just wanted this out there and away from me. It sucks that I can't comment or like people's comments on posts anonymously because I would. I have talked about this before, but my mental health is fucked up. I really wish meds worked for me... I am in therapy, and so far, my therapist is on vacation for 2 weeks. Great for him, but I am deteriorating quickly. Life sucks. It really does.

Oh I'm sure this will be a good read. Jesus fucking Christ. Mental health needs to be prioritized in this retarded country.

For anyone awake at this hour who may need to hear this... You matter.. I promise. If you are feeling alone please dial 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. By calling or texting 988, you’ll connect with mental health professionals with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gyANphz_Kk

i got my phone confiscated my mom is trying to make me earn the money to pay the data so i wont be getting it back until i earn $12050.00 which will take forever she had a good damn fit and went online to lock it i tried to apologize but she doesn't believe me at all I'm actually sorry for what i did but she doesn't care my mental health is not good rn i cant even listen to music to help it

I can't wait til my rotator cuff heals, I'm so bored of not being able to do pole fit exercise. Exercise really does help my mental health.

Hearing the radio got me thinking....why do songs reference 'craziness' as positive? Considering 1/3 people will suffer from a mental illness and we have 'Mental Health Week' shouldn't pop singers be singing about being driven sane or going sane? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️

How have all my people been surviving the pandemic? I was listening to the news this morning and they were saying people in the USA that are skitzos was suffering the worst cause no one really took anyone with mental disorders seriously durning the pandemic and it was more likely that people with a mental disorder died durning the pandemic. I mean it’s a giving that we did but some of us are pretty head strong to survive throughout something like this and here I am 3-4 years later with this shit with only 1 hospital trip because I wanted off my meds but I some how survived everything I’ve been through with this bullshit. I cannot wait to mark myself safe from covid. I’m heavily avoiding everyone til we are outta the clear with this shit. Even tho I want to party and go to concerts I’m unsure if it’s safe yet to do so. I want to meet people and get to know people within the mental health bullshit throughout programs but I feel like I’ve barely been sick besides utis durning the pandemic and idk why I keep getting them which is weird asf all’s I know is I gotta go when I gotta go lmao 🤣 but yeah I’ve been pretty healthy asf besides that and just eating straight up junk food and gained like 17 lbs but I plan to swim all summer and get to walking so the pounds fall off and be more active and such even tho I’ve been is lazy mode for the whole pandemic. My dad tho has lost so much weight and grew a beard my mom has fallen off a ladder and my brother I feel like truly loves eating food a little bit too damn much but other than that we are working though the bullshit. I feel so damn bad that my mom fell off a ladder and is still suffering from her fall 4 months later I hope to God the pain doesn’t kill her I pray to the dear Lord she recovers next month fully I need my momma ok cause I’m suffering watching her suffer. She definitely is a trooper and makes me smile cause she’s dealing with the worst bullshit but pounding through the bullshit. She’s definitely come far from where she was and I hope she doesn’t give up on her physical therapy and keeps pushing and wanting to be fully better. My mom is definitely thee most strongest person I’ve ever witnessed to wanting to be fully better so she can still keep doing for her family and as much as she aches she’s still pushing to take care of her family which I admire so damn fucking much. As for my brother he is such a damn good cook I love anything that he makes and I love that he loves food and loves to play with his food. Durning the pandemic we’ve had such super good meals like really good meals from my dads kitchen I should say my moms cause she owns that shit. But I’ll be damn if my family opened up a eatery I would be there every damn day for the specials that’s for fucking sure!!! I hope one day they do from beer to soup and nachos I hope they do something!! I came up with this chicken nacho plate which blows my mind how good it is and I cannot get enough of it at all!!! At one point durning the pandemic we had nacho cheese sauce in French fries which really blew my mind cause it was awesome asf!!! I’m super glad tho that my family is alive and we are trying to strive thanks be to God!!!