Not like anyone cares but I'll blog it here anyways... Cause here at least I can pretend ppl care... I'm Ending vacation with a bad migraine attack and possibly an incubating flu. Great. Not like my I overall declining health has been enough strain in my body and mental health.

Maybe I shouldn't have made plans for Halloween at all... Just ended with a ruined evening and feeling bad about being the cause of it...

Waiting for the doctors to return so I can finally get on with fixing my health drives me crazy. There is a lot of anxiety and what ifs connected to it and I just want answers...this uncertainty and not being able to move forward with treatment because outside factors control timelines is so incredibly frustrating. I feel that every passing day is lost time in this regard.
And since nobody in my social circal seems to care enough to listen to me when I try talking about it and just turn to dumping their shit and their problems on me as soon as we mention health or mental health, I need to vent it out here into the void.

PSA: Gas lighting

This is gas lighting; what you are talking about being mad online because you do and say stupid things and cannot stand the heat!

For further advise seek out your local mental health professional; your parents or local religious leader!

Trump Vs Musk... the charade? the mental health? the strategy? The stupidity revealed? i could do a poll :D

Word is the average Gen Z person has the same level of anxiety and neurotic behavior of an institutionalized mental health patient in the 1950s. Instead of using this dysfunctional energy for creativity, they'd rather cry and complain about it. Therein lies the difference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwWVE84OEIA

#POTUS #White_House #elections #Biden #Axios #mental_health #mental_issues #President_Biden
https://www.axios.com/2024/07/07/biden-staff-events-prepare

Urgh. The next Two days will require a lot of patience and swallowing my pride and anger and hurt in order to maintain the peace.
...
Let's see how long it takes this year until I'm asked to me "more considerate" and "stop being hurt" because someone has metal issues and "can't help being like this" while they trampled all over me, Knowing I also have mental issues, without any mercy or consideration for my feelings and my mental health issues
Holidays are fun...

So turns out all those people who told me that going outside for a walk was good for my mental health were right.

The suicidal thoughts are coming back.
I feel so left behind in life. I have no career. I have a dead end job, I live at home, and I isolate myself due to the inevitable daily avalanches of shame and guilt that I deal with everyday.
I've been exercising to try and fight the bad thoughts and emotions and that has been helping along with meditation, but fuck; it's like an uphill battle!
I hate my job, i hate my life, and how everything looks so bleak and everything feels so fucking heavy.
I don't like being a downer. Usually, I keep this kind of stuff to myself, but I just wanted to vent somewhere.
Maybe this might bring an audience or maybe not, I just wanted this out there and away from me.
It sucks that I can't comment or like people's comments on posts anonymously because I would.
I have talked about this before, but my mental health is fucked up.
I really wish meds worked for me...
I am in therapy, and so far, my therapist is on vacation for 2 weeks.
Great for him, but I am deteriorating quickly.
Life sucks. It really does.

For anyone awake at this hour who may need to hear this... You matter.. I promise. If you are feeling alone please dial 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. By calling or texting 988, you’ll connect with mental health professionals with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gyANphz_Kk