Welcome traveler!
Nice to meet you! I am Darcy.
First of all thank you for reading my profile! Not many people take te time for that, but I very much appreciate that you do!
In the following I will not list the things I do and do not like, no, that would make it to easy for you and you wouldn't get to know me at all. I'd rather just speak my mind and tell you a few things about me and you may figure out yourself what kind of person I am, and what kinds of things I like.
Asking a question about it is a good conversations starter btw. please feel free to do so, because I hate nothing more than smalltalk and messages that start with "Hey how are you, whats up?". It has nothing to do with being narrow minded and not appreciating ploliteniess, I do. I just have other reasons for not liking smalltalk. You may ask about it if you want. =)
Also I do NOT like non serious flirting NOR sending around pictures of certain body parts... If I wanna se a mans "Joy stick" I'd be on a different site, thank you ver much.
I'm a bit old schooled and just a hopeless romantic.
So now that this is out of the room here is a bit more about me. I am very much of a nerd. I have a Master's degree in Biotechnology and work as a molecular biologist (yes that means I know how the different vaccines work and I will not halt from explaining it in dertail if necessary) and my job is my passion, I really enjoy what I am doing for a living! Because of that passion I am also a little bit of a witch and certainly have a green thumb. Beware I know a lot of poisonous things :D:D:D
Aside from that I am a very creative person, I love to do all kind of things that involve crafting things with my own two hands. I like to say that my paintbrushes are magic wands ;)
I also love music and play different kinds of instruments. But I am not living in the last century I also do my fair share of video gaming and am a huge nerd in that field too.
Hmm what else is there to say about me...
I am actually pretty shy in real life but the mask of anonymity the internet provides makes me less shy online so I may appear a little differently in conversation online. I think my shy side is also pretty much reflected in my interests. I don't really like festivals and huge concerts because its noisy and a lot of strangers are there. I am no party person and certainly not a "social butterfly". To most I appear cold and uninterested at first because I prefer to silently observe first before approaching. Also I hate introducing myself to others in real life. I prefer to be introduced or not having to make the first step. I jsut hate approaching people. I'm one of those bubble people that are happy inside their bubble and hate to leave their bubble alone. :D
Now that was already a lot for the start. I guess you may know now what kind of person I am and hopefully you have an idea what to talk about if you want to chat with me. =)
If not just ask my what my favourite enzyme is! You won't be hit with silence...
Nice to meet you! I am Darcy.
First of all thank you for reading my profile! Not many people take te time for that, but I very much appreciate that you do!
In the following I will not list the things I do and do not like, no, that would make it to easy for you and you wouldn't get to know me at all. I'd rather just speak my mind and tell you a few things about me and you may figure out yourself what kind of person I am, and what kinds of things I like.
Asking a question about it is a good conversations starter btw. please feel free to do so, because I hate nothing more than smalltalk and messages that start with "Hey how are you, whats up?". It has nothing to do with being narrow minded and not appreciating ploliteniess, I do. I just have other reasons for not liking smalltalk. You may ask about it if you want. =)
Also I do NOT like non serious flirting NOR sending around pictures of certain body parts... If I wanna se a mans "Joy stick" I'd be on a different site, thank you ver much.
I'm a bit old schooled and just a hopeless romantic.
So now that this is out of the room here is a bit more about me. I am very much of a nerd. I have a Master's degree in Biotechnology and work as a molecular biologist (yes that means I know how the different vaccines work and I will not halt from explaining it in dertail if necessary) and my job is my passion, I really enjoy what I am doing for a living! Because of that passion I am also a little bit of a witch and certainly have a green thumb. Beware I know a lot of poisonous things :D:D:D
Aside from that I am a very creative person, I love to do all kind of things that involve crafting things with my own two hands. I like to say that my paintbrushes are magic wands ;)
I also love music and play different kinds of instruments. But I am not living in the last century I also do my fair share of video gaming and am a huge nerd in that field too.
Hmm what else is there to say about me...
I am actually pretty shy in real life but the mask of anonymity the internet provides makes me less shy online so I may appear a little differently in conversation online. I think my shy side is also pretty much reflected in my interests. I don't really like festivals and huge concerts because its noisy and a lot of strangers are there. I am no party person and certainly not a "social butterfly". To most I appear cold and uninterested at first because I prefer to silently observe first before approaching. Also I hate introducing myself to others in real life. I prefer to be introduced or not having to make the first step. I jsut hate approaching people. I'm one of those bubble people that are happy inside their bubble and hate to leave their bubble alone. :D
Now that was already a lot for the start. I guess you may know now what kind of person I am and hopefully you have an idea what to talk about if you want to chat with me. =)
If not just ask my what my favourite enzyme is! You won't be hit with silence...
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Recent Updates
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Great...I caught a cold on Saturday...
I was hoping the event would pull me out of my apathy and I get some of my spark back...
Got a cold & fatigue instead. what wrong with my body!? This is the third cold I caught this year. I used to rarely get sick. Like only once a year.
Maybe I'm really eating too little...Great...I caught a cold on Saturday... I was hoping the event would pull me out of my apathy and I get some of my spark back... Got a cold & fatigue instead. what wrong with my body!? This is the third cold I caught this year. I used to rarely get sick. Like only once a year. Maybe I'm really eating too little...3 Comments 0 Shares 100 Views
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I tried I really tried...but it happens again... I'm trying to not be invisible. And at result I've become painfully visible just utterly disregarded...
There is a heavy Rain in my head but no one wants to look out the windows because facing the clouds is too depressing for them...They rather look at their reflection I the windows.
Why am I so stupid, forgiving and hopeful and keep trying? I save myself so much disappointment if I just close up and suffer in silence.I tried I really tried...but it happens again... I'm trying to not be invisible. And at result I've become painfully visible just utterly disregarded... There is a heavy Rain in my head but no one wants to look out the windows because facing the clouds is too depressing for them...They rather look at their reflection I the windows. Why am I so stupid, forgiving and hopeful and keep trying? I save myself so much disappointment if I just close up and suffer in silence.3 Comments 0 Shares 280 Views
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I think depression has killed my spark...
Even though I am working through the things depressing me and starting to find closure. I feel like the fire within me is gone too. Snuffed to not even a spark. I'm not even looking forward to the big events that l love visiting so much. They are just there on the agenda. And I will go there because I know I will regret not going. But there is no enthusiasm about them right now. No anticipation nor excitement.
Idk if it is because I have been visiting that next upcoming event for over 10 years, or if it is because these were events I used to visit with friends but they don't come anymore...idk I just don't feel any excitement or anticipation and that's scary. Looking forward to these events used to cheer me up a lot..
I'm sorry to all the (very few) people wo love me for my bubbly enthusiasm, infectious excitement, and passionate personality...that fire is gone...I think depression has killed my spark... Even though I am working through the things depressing me and starting to find closure. I feel like the fire within me is gone too. Snuffed to not even a spark. I'm not even looking forward to the big events that l love visiting so much. They are just there on the agenda. And I will go there because I know I will regret not going. But there is no enthusiasm about them right now. No anticipation nor excitement. Idk if it is because I have been visiting that next upcoming event for over 10 years, or if it is because these were events I used to visit with friends but they don't come anymore...idk I just don't feel any excitement or anticipation and that's scary. Looking forward to these events used to cheer me up a lot.. I'm sorry to all the (very few) people wo love me for my bubbly enthusiasm, infectious excitement, and passionate personality...that fire is gone...8 Comments 0 Shares 449 Views
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Stopped replying to people last week and now I'm not sure if I'm starting to feel better because I'm not burdened with their bullshit anymore or if I just became apathetic to protect myself from feeling worse because no one took my silence for concern or even bothered to ask why I am not replying... they're not even getting offended of being ignored, which was what I kinda expected or more to say what I wanted to provoke. I wanted the "why are you ignoring me" to hit them back with "Same to you. Why do you disregard my troubles but expect me to jump when you are in need of an open ear"
Well guess that shows how little they actually care...Stopped replying to people last week and now I'm not sure if I'm starting to feel better because I'm not burdened with their bullshit anymore or if I just became apathetic to protect myself from feeling worse because no one took my silence for concern or even bothered to ask why I am not replying... they're not even getting offended of being ignored, which was what I kinda expected or more to say what I wanted to provoke. I wanted the "why are you ignoring me" to hit them back with "Same to you. Why do you disregard my troubles but expect me to jump when you are in need of an open ear" Well guess that shows how little they actually care...2 Comments 0 Shares 340 Views1
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"sometimes we reduce communication from the people we love not because we hate them, but because we feel like we are nothing to them"
I wonder when they'll notice the read but silence. An what they will do then? Will ithey be asking if I'm ok or will it be just about demanding me to answer/react to their problems/messages...I kinda expect the latter by now. And it's so sad that I already expect the worst from my friends..."sometimes we reduce communication from the people we love not because we hate them, but because we feel like we are nothing to them" I wonder when they'll notice the read but silence. An what they will do then? Will ithey be asking if I'm ok or will it be just about demanding me to answer/react to their problems/messages...I kinda expect the latter by now. And it's so sad that I already expect the worst from my friends...0 Comments 0 Shares 407 Views
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And the Odyssey of only being talked to when others are bored or need emotional dumpfters continues... yesterday I wanted to talk to my friend because I wanted to chat and pass the time.I got one-syllabled replies. It was very clear that there was no interest in talking to me and they seemed busy. Guess who just texted me during working hours just to complain about aaaall the bad things in the world that happened to them. And og course expect me to reply immediately.
The other day I was even asked to stop whatever I was doing to help them pick an outfit when I told them I can't talk because I was busy...And the Odyssey of only being talked to when others are bored or need emotional dumpfters continues... yesterday I wanted to talk to my friend because I wanted to chat and pass the time.I got one-syllabled replies. It was very clear that there was no interest in talking to me and they seemed busy. Guess who just texted me during working hours just to complain about aaaall the bad things in the world that happened to them. And og course expect me to reply immediately. The other day I was even asked to stop whatever I was doing to help them pick an outfit when I told them I can't talk because I was busy...1 Comments 0 Shares 674 Views
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Today I tried to cheer my inner child by looking for my favorite bug and making a rhubarb umbrella... But the joy only lasted briefly.. The closer I get back to real adult life the more the blues and thoughts of all that troubles me are returning...
I could stay in that garden of my childhood forever. Calm and Peaceful under the lilac trees.Today I tried to cheer my inner child by looking for my favorite bug and making a rhubarb umbrella... But the joy only lasted briefly.. The closer I get back to real adult life the more the blues and thoughts of all that troubles me are returning... I could stay in that garden of my childhood forever. Calm and Peaceful under the lilac trees.
0 Comments 0 Shares 465 Views1
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Still hating every picture I take of myself where I don't hide in a cosplay (aka literally not being myself).... But I'm trying to convince myself to like this one....Give me a reality check...Still hating every picture I take of myself where I don't hide in a cosplay (aka literally not being myself).... But I'm trying to convince myself to like this one....Give me a reality check...
5 Comments 0 Shares 423 Views
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The worst feeling of betrayal and loneliness is realizing they didn't really mean it when they said 'always'...
They meant only when it's not too much of a burden to carry for them... And then you are left all alone almost abandoned with that darkness you were finally trying to open up on...
And that's why some people start speaking silence and live through entire tragedies in silence. Because no one bears to listen but themselves. And that's what trapps you in thst perpetual cycle of being a good listener to others but never be heard out.
I'm so sick and tired of being emotionally exploited and permanently abandoned by others. Good enough as an emotional landfill.
Real friendship is a myth...The worst feeling of betrayal and loneliness is realizing they didn't really mean it when they said 'always'... They meant only when it's not too much of a burden to carry for them... And then you are left all alone almost abandoned with that darkness you were finally trying to open up on... And that's why some people start speaking silence and live through entire tragedies in silence. Because no one bears to listen but themselves. And that's what trapps you in thst perpetual cycle of being a good listener to others but never be heard out. I'm so sick and tired of being emotionally exploited and permanently abandoned by others. Good enough as an emotional landfill. Real friendship is a myth...3 Comments 0 Shares 779 Views1
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