Welcome traveler!
Nice to meet you! I am Darcy.
First of all thank you for reading my profile! Not many people take te time for that, but I very much appreciate that you do!
In the following I will not list the things I do and do not like, no, that would make it to easy for you and you wouldn't get to know me at all. I'd rather just speak my mind and tell you a few things about me and you may figure out yourself what kind of person I am, and what kinds of things I like.
Asking a question about it is a good conversations starter btw. please feel free to do so, because I hate nothing more than smalltalk and messages that start with "Hey how are you, whats up?" will not be replied to. It has nothing to do with being narrow minded and not appreciating ploliteniess, I do. I just have other reasons for not liking smalltalk. You may ask about it if you want. =)
Also I do NOT like non serious flirting NOR sending around pictures of certain body parts... If I wanna se a mans "Joy stick" I'd be on a different site, thank you very much.
I'm a bit old schooled and just a hopeless romantic.
So now that this is out of the room here is a bit more about me. I am very much of a nerd. I have a Master's degree in Biotechnology and work as a protein biologist (yes that means I know how the different vaccines work and I will not halt from explaining it in dertail if necessary) and my job is my passion, I really enjoy what I am doing for a living! Because of that passion I am also a little bit of a witch and certainly have a green thumb. Beware I know a lot of poisonous things :D:D:D
Aside from that I am a very creative person, I love to do all kind of things that involve crafting things with my own two hands. I like to say that my paintbrushes are magic wands ;)
I also love music and play different kinds of instruments. But I am not living in the last century I also do my fair share of video gaming and am a huge nerd in that field too.
Hmm what else is there to say about me...
I am actually pretty shy in real life but the mask of anonymity the internet provides makes me less shy online so I may appear a little differently in conversation online. I think my shy side is also pretty much reflected in my interests. I don't really like festivals and huge concerts because its noisy and a lot of strangers are there. I am no party person and certainly not a "social butterfly". To most I appear cold and uninterested at first because I prefer to silently observe first before approaching. Also I hate introducing myself to others in real life. I prefer to be introduced or not having to make the first step. I just hate approaching people. I'm one of those bubble people that are happy inside their bubble and hate to leave their bubble alone. I need an enptional support person to leave my cave :D
Now that was already a lot for the start. I guess you may know now what kind of person I am and hopefully you have an idea what to talk about if you want to chat with me. =)
If not just ask my what my favourite enzyme is! You won't be hit with silence...
Nice to meet you! I am Darcy.
First of all thank you for reading my profile! Not many people take te time for that, but I very much appreciate that you do!
In the following I will not list the things I do and do not like, no, that would make it to easy for you and you wouldn't get to know me at all. I'd rather just speak my mind and tell you a few things about me and you may figure out yourself what kind of person I am, and what kinds of things I like.
Asking a question about it is a good conversations starter btw. please feel free to do so, because I hate nothing more than smalltalk and messages that start with "Hey how are you, whats up?" will not be replied to. It has nothing to do with being narrow minded and not appreciating ploliteniess, I do. I just have other reasons for not liking smalltalk. You may ask about it if you want. =)
Also I do NOT like non serious flirting NOR sending around pictures of certain body parts... If I wanna se a mans "Joy stick" I'd be on a different site, thank you very much.
I'm a bit old schooled and just a hopeless romantic.
So now that this is out of the room here is a bit more about me. I am very much of a nerd. I have a Master's degree in Biotechnology and work as a protein biologist (yes that means I know how the different vaccines work and I will not halt from explaining it in dertail if necessary) and my job is my passion, I really enjoy what I am doing for a living! Because of that passion I am also a little bit of a witch and certainly have a green thumb. Beware I know a lot of poisonous things :D:D:D
Aside from that I am a very creative person, I love to do all kind of things that involve crafting things with my own two hands. I like to say that my paintbrushes are magic wands ;)
I also love music and play different kinds of instruments. But I am not living in the last century I also do my fair share of video gaming and am a huge nerd in that field too.
Hmm what else is there to say about me...
I am actually pretty shy in real life but the mask of anonymity the internet provides makes me less shy online so I may appear a little differently in conversation online. I think my shy side is also pretty much reflected in my interests. I don't really like festivals and huge concerts because its noisy and a lot of strangers are there. I am no party person and certainly not a "social butterfly". To most I appear cold and uninterested at first because I prefer to silently observe first before approaching. Also I hate introducing myself to others in real life. I prefer to be introduced or not having to make the first step. I just hate approaching people. I'm one of those bubble people that are happy inside their bubble and hate to leave their bubble alone. I need an enptional support person to leave my cave :D
Now that was already a lot for the start. I guess you may know now what kind of person I am and hopefully you have an idea what to talk about if you want to chat with me. =)
If not just ask my what my favourite enzyme is! You won't be hit with silence...
-
459 BeitrÀge
-
93 Fotos
-
0 Videos
-
Female
-
Follower 56 Menschen
Suche
English
Arabic
French
Spanish
Portuguese
Turkish
Dutch
Italiano
Russian
Romaian
Portuguese (Brazil)
Greek
Neueste Updates
-
Happiness and good Fortune are like a golden sand flowing into an hourglass of life sometimes there are black grains representing the bad things that sometimes happen but for most they are tuning to gold once they reach the majority of gold.
But for some people the sand has more black grains than most, and some of those tend to give their few golden grains to others to help them turn their black to gold, which often leave the givers with overpowering obsidian sand that often turns new gold to black. And if they ask others for just a speckle of gold in return to help Turing the black to gold, they often have to beg for it or end up turning the others sand black just by opening their their hourglass.
I am certainly one of the latter people. My body and mind is filled with poisonous black sand and my tongue turns it into venom injecting it to others whenever reach for support or comfort.
I have realized a very concerning pattern that gives me the worst anxiety right now. I'm poisoning the last golden grain of sand whenever I open my heart and don't swallow my feelings for once.
I should finally stop trying and go back to being the quiet listener that gives her golden grains to others and fights against the black by herself. That will spare me from a lot of feelings of disappointment, and anxiety and guilt about upsetting others by voicing when I'm being upset or disappointed. I'll just suck it up and be too forgiving for my own good the sake of harmony.
How sad is that? I have become scared of being upset because it upsets others and I feel guilty then. Can one be more of a peoplepleaser just to not end up all alone?
Today was a terrible day on so many levels, not only was I still feeling upset, I was also anxious to the point of barely being able to breathe because I had I realized this destructive and poisonous pattern that always, really ALWAYS has been following when I open up and threatens the last good thing I have that is supposed to be an anchor right now.
And on top of all, some actually supposedly good news came in from a friend but I can't be happy for them instead it really pulls me down because the topic reminds me of my health issues that are kinda related...
And as I currently have no one to talk to because my tongue is venomous and I just ruin everone elses minds, I have to rant it out to strangers in the internet. Maybe the more creative writing approach I took in the beginning is at least somewhat enjoyable to read. It was kind inspired by this song...
https://youtu.be/FK3TDHnD1_0?list=RDFK3TDHnD1_0Happiness and good Fortune are like a golden sand flowing into an hourglass of life sometimes there are black grains representing the bad things that sometimes happen but for most they are tuning to gold once they reach the majority of gold. But for some people the sand has more black grains than most, and some of those tend to give their few golden grains to others to help them turn their black to gold, which often leave the givers with overpowering obsidian sand that often turns new gold to black. And if they ask others for just a speckle of gold in return to help Turing the black to gold, they often have to beg for it or end up turning the others sand black just by opening their their hourglass. I am certainly one of the latter people. My body and mind is filled with poisonous black sand and my tongue turns it into venom injecting it to others whenever reach for support or comfort. I have realized a very concerning pattern that gives me the worst anxiety right now. I'm poisoning the last golden grain of sand whenever I open my heart and don't swallow my feelings for once. I should finally stop trying and go back to being the quiet listener that gives her golden grains to others and fights against the black by herself. That will spare me from a lot of feelings of disappointment, and anxiety and guilt about upsetting others by voicing when I'm being upset or disappointed. I'll just suck it up and be too forgiving for my own good the sake of harmony. How sad is that? I have become scared of being upset because it upsets others and I feel guilty then. Can one be more of a peoplepleaser just to not end up all alone? Today was a terrible day on so many levels, not only was I still feeling upset, I was also anxious to the point of barely being able to breathe because I had I realized this destructive and poisonous pattern that always, really ALWAYS has been following when I open up and threatens the last good thing I have that is supposed to be an anchor right now. And on top of all, some actually supposedly good news came in from a friend but I can't be happy for them instead it really pulls me down because the topic reminds me of my health issues that are kinda related... And as I currently have no one to talk to because my tongue is venomous and I just ruin everone elses minds, I have to rant it out to strangers in the internet. Maybe the more creative writing approach I took in the beginning is at least somewhat enjoyable to read. It was kind inspired by this song... https://youtu.be/FK3TDHnD1_0?list=RDFK3TDHnD1_0
0 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 233 Ansichten1
-
Urrrghhh im sooo stuuuupiiiiddd!!! And so angry at myself!!!!
I successfully delayed my chances to FINALLY get a blood coagulation test and thus the chance be able to start the treatment that I desperately need for months (but can't get until we know my blood coagulating factor) for another week because I took the wrong painkillers yesterday I usually take paracetamol but I couldn't find it so I took a mixed preparate that contains para and aspirin. Aspirin has a blood thinning effect that lasts for 4-8 days. I just realized this as I was about to call my doctor to see if we can finally get my blood tested. Now I have to wait another week until we can draw blood for the testing. Which will then take another week to receive the results (at least, prolly more) and that delays my therapy even more. My body is already suffering notably from the severe deficiency that needs treatment. I am so angry at myself why did I not think? I work in pharma industry I KNEW of this effect...Urrrghhh im sooo stuuuupiiiiddd!!! And so angry at myself!!!! I successfully delayed my chances to FINALLY get a blood coagulation test and thus the chance be able to start the treatment that I desperately need for months (but can't get until we know my blood coagulating factor) for another week because I took the wrong painkillers yesterday đđđ I usually take paracetamol but I couldn't find it so I took a mixed preparate that contains para and aspirin. Aspirin has a blood thinning effect that lasts for 4-8 days. I just realized this as I was about to call my doctor to see if we can finally get my blood tested. Now I have to wait another week until we can draw blood for the testing. Which will then take another week to receive the results (at least, prolly more) and that delays my therapy even more. My body is already suffering notably from the severe deficiency that needs treatment. I am so angry at myself why did I not think? I work in pharma industry I KNEW of this effect...1 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 411 Ansichten
2
-
Wow what a shitty End for a vacation. Successfully ruined another persons day again just by trying to open up and share my fears and emotions in hopes to clear my anxiety that I had since yesterday...
But noo triggered somewhat of a fight and anxiety for the other side too.
Aaaaaand thats why I usually bottle things up. When I talk about it I piss people off or make them sad and that worsens my anxiety. Even when I thought hard about how I say it and what I say, it always goes down the wrong pipe and ends with the worst outcome...
Why do I even try again ana again it always ends in disappointment: either I'm a bad trigger or I'm as important as fucking chairs. After all im only good for listening not for talking about feelings. I just muck things up...
I feel like such a human failure...
Wow what a shitty End for a vacation. Successfully ruined another persons day again just by trying to open up and share my fears and emotions in hopes to clear my anxiety that I had since yesterday... But noo triggered somewhat of a fight and anxiety for the other side too. Aaaaaand thats why I usually bottle things up. When I talk about it I piss people off or make them sad and that worsens my anxiety. Even when I thought hard about how I say it and what I say, it always goes down the wrong pipe and ends with the worst outcome... Why do I even try again ana again it always ends in disappointment: either I'm a bad trigger or I'm as important as fucking chairs. After all im only good for listening not for talking about feelings. I just muck things up... I feel like such a human failure...
5 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 745 Ansichten1
-
Not like anyone cares but I'll blog it here anyways... Cause here at least I can pretend ppl care... I'm Ending vacation with a bad migraine attack and possibly an incubating flu. Great. Not like my I overall declining health has been enough strain in my body and mental health.
Maybe I shouldn't have made plans for Halloween at all... Just ended with a ruined evening and feeling bad about being the cause of it...Not like anyone cares but I'll blog it here anyways... Cause here at least I can pretend ppl care... I'm Ending vacation with a bad migraine attack and possibly an incubating flu. Great. Not like my I overall declining health has been enough strain in my body and mental health. Maybe I shouldn't have made plans for Halloween at all... Just ended with a ruined evening and feeling bad about being the cause of it...1 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 858 Ansichten1
-
Another rant incoming today...sorry guys....ill delete that later....
just now I was once again proven to have self centered friends... I was messaged by a friend how I was doing and I already suspected that she just asked to initiate conversation and wanted to either rant or get attention...when I started talking about my health issues and how annoyed I was by the system she just replied something generic like "yeah the health system sucks" an then proceeded to Change the topic and show me her new living room chairs...
Like wtf your friends health is just something to causally comment on just to proceed with something so trivial as new chairs?! Feels like my health was just placed in the same important level als new chairs. Thanks for worrying or providing mental support....like I did for her years when she was trapping herself in a toxic relationship.
Last time we met we also talked about how life was going for me for maybe 30 minutes and for 3h I had to listen to her new found lovers and adventures in that regard... sucks being a good listener because at some point that's all you become to your friends...the listenerAnother rant incoming today...sorry guys....ill delete that later.... just now I was once again proven to have self centered friends... I was messaged by a friend how I was doing and I already suspected that she just asked to initiate conversation and wanted to either rant or get attention...when I started talking about my health issues and how annoyed I was by the system she just replied something generic like "yeah the health system sucks" an then proceeded to Change the topic and show me her new living room chairs... Like wtf your friends health is just something to causally comment on just to proceed with something so trivial as new chairs?! Feels like my health was just placed in the same important level als new chairs. Thanks for worrying or providing mental support....like I did for her years when she was trapping herself in a toxic relationship. Last time we met we also talked about how life was going for me for maybe 30 minutes and for 3h I had to listen to her new found lovers and adventures in that regard... sucks being a good listener because at some point that's all you become to your friends...the listener4 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 788 Ansichten -
Waiting for the doctors to return so I can finally get on with fixing my health drives me crazy. There is a lot of anxiety and what ifs connected to it and I just want answers...this uncertainty and not being able to move forward with treatment because outside factors control timelines is so incredibly frustrating. I feel that every passing day is lost time in this regard.
And since nobody in my social circal seems to care enough to listen to me when I try talking about it and just turn to dumping their shit and their problems on me as soon as we mention health or mental health, I need to vent it out here into the void.Waiting for the doctors to return so I can finally get on with fixing my health drives me crazy. There is a lot of anxiety and what ifs connected to it and I just want answers...this uncertainty and not being able to move forward with treatment because outside factors control timelines is so incredibly frustrating. I feel that every passing day is lost time in this regard. And since nobody in my social circal seems to care enough to listen to me when I try talking about it and just turn to dumping their shit and their problems on me as soon as we mention health or mental health, I need to vent it out here into the void.3 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 622 Ansichten -
Sometimes the health system sucks....Starting to feel long time consequences of some health issues that I have been dealing with for a while I went to some specialist and Guess what to treat one thing I need another condition fully diagnosed but that doctor is on vacation for two weeks and once that one is returned, doctor one will be on vacation and so in total I have to wait at least 4 more weeks to be able to start treatment if it is even possible to give me that treatment. Not like I have been having that issue for 6 months now and it's starting to cause follow up issues....
Still not sure if the ED is the cause of it all or if my body just hates me and found another way to show me...
But hey, what else is new?Sometimes the health system sucks....Starting to feel long time consequences of some health issues that I have been dealing with for a while I went to some specialist and Guess what to treat one thing I need another condition fully diagnosed but that doctor is on vacation for two weeks and once that one is returned, doctor one will be on vacation and so in total I have to wait at least 4 more weeks to be able to start treatment if it is even possible to give me that treatment. Not like I have been having that issue for 6 months now and it's starting to cause follow up issues.... Still not sure if the ED is the cause of it all or if my body just hates me and found another way to show me... But hey, what else is new?0 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 760 Ansichten -
AFI released a new album and it's currently the only joyful thing of my days. Yet people at work expect me to take out my earphones to talk to me...RUDE
Either pay me fair or let me work on my bubble unbothered by stupidity https://youtu.be/5c6sMntanTQ?si=BAZlrmvrKOUZej-lAFI released a new album and it's currently the only joyful thing of my days. Yet people at work expect me to take out my earphones to talk to me...RUDE Either pay me fair or let me work on my bubble unbothered by stupidity đhttps://youtu.be/5c6sMntanTQ?si=BAZlrmvrKOUZej-l
0 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 703 Ansichten1
-
Im thinking of quitting inktober (yet again) before i even really started on it. Idk just the thought of planning and actually making an ink drawing every day stresses me out. Although it was something that I easily did in the past. Even multiple ones a day... I think it's because of not having as much time to invest in art anymore I kinda lost my connection to it. I rarely get to sit down to actually paint. Every year I start the inktober challeng in hope to get my connection back but every time for the past 3 years I end up having to quit halfway through for multiple reasons like getting behind lacking time. This year I'm already stressed about having to catch up on the first few days that I missed.
Maybe I just had a bad start...I wanted to warm up by finishing one of least years works that I never got to complete and I totally messed it up and on top it tore apart when I tried to remove the one year old masking tape... Seems like an omen...
I will still dedicate this month to art and especially watercolor painting. But I think I will not do the inktober challenge for now. Maybe I will get to do the last half of it later but just now I need to get back into the peaceful/mindful mindset that I need for doing watercolor. Pushing myself with a challenge will not help here.
I started watching YouTube draw with me videos of one of my favorite artists there. It helps getting back into watercolors and Inks.Im thinking of quitting inktober (yet again) before i even really started on it. Idk just the thought of planning and actually making an ink drawing every day stresses me out. Although it was something that I easily did in the past. Even multiple ones a day... I think it's because of not having as much time to invest in art anymore I kinda lost my connection to it. I rarely get to sit down to actually paint. Every year I start the inktober challeng in hope to get my connection back but every time for the past 3 years I end up having to quit halfway through for multiple reasons like getting behind lacking time. This year I'm already stressed about having to catch up on the first few days that I missed. Maybe I just had a bad start...I wanted to warm up by finishing one of least years works that I never got to complete and I totally messed it up and on top it tore apart when I tried to remove the one year old masking tape... Seems like an omen... I will still dedicate this month to art and especially watercolor painting. But I think I will not do the inktober challenge for now. Maybe I will get to do the last half of it later but just now I need to get back into the peaceful/mindful mindset that I need for doing watercolor. Pushing myself with a challenge will not help here. I started watching YouTube draw with me videos of one of my favorite artists there. It helps getting back into watercolors and Inks.0 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 1KB Ansichten -
I thought I'd finally have time to draw and try doing inktober again. But for some reason I can't wind down and relax. My hands rush through the sketch as if I had to be somewhere and I can't get lost in my artwork and escape. It's so frustrating and aggravating which leads to mistakes and me hating tie pictures in the end. why can't my mind settle down?! I just wanted to draw
I was already disappointed yesterday because my tablet didn't arrive and now today is not fun eitherI thought I'd finally have time to draw and try doing inktober again. But for some reason I can't wind down and relax. My hands rush through the sketch as if I had to be somewhere and I can't get lost in my artwork and escape. It's so frustrating and aggravating which leads to mistakes and me hating tie pictures in the end. đwhy can't my mind settle down?! I just wanted to draw đ„ I was already disappointed yesterday because my tablet didn't arrive and now today is not fun either đ«0 Kommentare 0 Geteilt 1KB Ansichten
Mehr Storys
