Home from work with some variation of the flu in spite of having gotten work-mandated flu shot. It wasn't all the sick patients that got me, but my own kid with her special blend of germs that has me running to the bathroom in the middle of the night several times.

Peeling my mucus-smeared, bleary-eyed face from the pillow this morning as my kids screamed their heads off had me wishing I'd gone the childless route of Seth Rogen.

On top of which, I had to pay for rent this month ($1600) and $760 worth of late utilities, in addition to the $1400 I pay monthly for daycare -- on top of groceries; my credit card is beyond maxed out and I kinda sorta resent the hell out of the person I've chosen as a life partner for siphoning away all my money. Nothing about this is new. He is who he is. Moving to a less expensive area should have made things easier on him financially and yet here we are with me paying delinquent bills and housing costs. The question is why I have stayed with such a failure and allowed myself to be dragged down so low.

Why can't he be a more responsible human being? 

As he was dragging his feet with buying a house, I ventured off on my own and asked if I could swing mortgage payments independent of this human anvil. If I tap into retirement, I can do it on my own (but will be extremely pulled thin every month with three quarters of my paycheck going to housing). Maybe this is an opportunity to go our sepatate ways? Divorce is no cake walk, especially with children involved. But I am just so sick of cleaning up someone else's mess on a regular basis.