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  • Whispers
    Whispers  like peels  from the other side unfurl ethereal fog. Whispers, deceptive crush of white  noise, obfuscate  and the forks abound in the muffling darkness. Alone to atone, clawing through the madness  of this Sisyphean life and all is all  but fucked. Whispers  fall and lie, an accumulation  of crushed potentials,  and I sigh  and I...
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  • Ennui
    An entire week of torpor, sleep deprivation, and a three day sugar bender did me no favors. I am fatter, tireder, and worse for the wear physically and moodwise. The past couple of weeks were painful. Our family pet died violently in front of us (seizures then hypoxia, which then triggered a sudden fatal arhythmia), half of us got the flu for a week, and I got slammed with school assignments;...
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  • Day 5
    I didn't get much sleep last night, as I came home late after working on a group project with classmates until almost midnight. In spite of being tired, I had to peel myself out of bed this morning and take the kids to school (late, but I still got them there).  Not much to report, except more fighting with spouse (this time about money). I often wonder how much is too much to help a...
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  • Days 3 and 4
    Day 3 felt a bit drowsier, but that might have been because the previous night I'd had a panic attack and had trouble falling asleep. I must have appeared deep in thought or something because I was asked several times if I was okay; honestly, around the noise of the kids, though, sometimes I deflate and become flat in affect. I must keep track of the highs and lows to monitor for hypomania (the...
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  • Day 2
    Hormonal flux, the ebb and flow of biology, lunar in its waxing and waning, affects physiology in so many respects; as it turns out, hormones also affect one's brain. This shouldn't be surprising, as our brains are responsible for hormone regulation (specifically the hypothalamus and pituitary gland). The slightest disruption, such as stress or nutritional deficiency, can throw homestatic...
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