I hate moving. It is tedious and time-consuming.
Cardboard boxes, debris, and children are all over the damn place. Tripping on random toys, I'm half tempted to pay someone to do it for me; but it tacks on additional two grand to moving costs. As it is, moving four hours away is going to cost me more than what I make in a month. Who needs it.
Good idea purge it all away.
And I'm tired....
If there were any doubt whether a more intelligent entity controls our fates, the fabric of our existence, each thread and very particle, a master seamster deciding how it should all unfold, a series of events made it abundantly clear where our next steps would take us.
Not coincidence. Ghesmat. In English, they call this Kismet, which roughly translates to fate or something meant to be....
The stability was nice while it lasted. We were in stasis and did not even realize our good fortune. The disruption to our stability to which I refer is having to move because our landlord hints that he wants to sell the property that we are renting; although he has not outright told us to vacate, he has sent a real estate broker a couple of times to complete appraisals of the property and...
Whispers
like peels
from the other side
unfurl
ethereal fog.
Whispers,
deceptive
crush of white
noise,
obfuscate
and the forks
abound
in the muffling darkness.
Alone to atone,
clawing through the madness
of this Sisyphean life
and all is all
but
fucked.
Whispers
fall
and lie,
an accumulation
of crushed potentials,
and I sigh
and I...
An entire week of torpor, sleep deprivation, and a three day sugar bender did me no favors. I am fatter, tireder, and worse for the wear physically and moodwise. The past couple of weeks were painful. Our family pet died violently in front of us (seizures then hypoxia, which then triggered a sudden fatal arhythmia), half of us got the flu for a week, and I got slammed with school assignments;...
I didn't get much sleep last night, as I came home late after working on a group project with classmates until almost midnight. In spite of being tired, I had to peel myself out of bed this morning and take the kids to school (late, but I still got them there).
Not much to report, except more fighting with spouse (this time about money). I often wonder how much is too much to help a...
Day 3 felt a bit drowsier, but that might have been because the previous night I'd had a panic attack and had trouble falling asleep. I must have appeared deep in thought or something because I was asked several times if I was okay; honestly, around the noise of the kids, though, sometimes I deflate and become flat in affect. I must keep track of the highs and lows to monitor for hypomania (the...
Hormonal flux, the ebb and flow of biology, lunar in its waxing and waning, affects physiology in so many respects; as it turns out, hormones also affect one's brain. This shouldn't be surprising, as our brains are responsible for hormone regulation (specifically the hypothalamus and pituitary gland). The slightest disruption, such as stress or nutritional deficiency, can throw homestatic...
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