So got home 2 days ago...Was feeling achy and was on the way to see my masseuse and decided to pop a small piece of THC Brownie I had in the freezer.

It was about 6 weeks old, but I had kept it frozen and I figured it had lost it's potency.

So made it 2 small pieces.

And NO it HAD NOT lost it's potency...Let me repeat that "IT HAD NOT LOST IT'S POTENCY."

Took me about 20 minutes to get there and by then I was feeling it...My friend started the massage and I asked her to do it hard and it hurt and ached, but felt AMAZING!

You ever see a Tom and Jerry cartoon where the person's soul pops out of their body than snaps back like a rubberband?  I felt that TWICE.

I felt my spirit pop out of my body when she hit a nerve in my neck...I zoomed forward out of my body then was pulled back like a bungee cord...It was CRAZY!

She finished after an hour and I was in Nirvana...I was perfectly as happy as could be.

Then I made the mistake of letting her drive me home and OMG.

Mayans SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE.

Imagine Mr. Toad's Wild Ride with guest star Mr. Magoo.

Yes, I know I was pretty high on the Brownie, but this was just TERRIBLE driving...I kept thinking "This bitch going to get us killed!"

Sweet Mother of God!  I'll walk barefoot in the rain, eating liver and onions before I get another ride with her.

Quote me on this:  MAYANS CANNOT DRIVE FOR SHIT.

Which again goes back to my theory that in no way did they create High Level Astrophysic Formulas 2000 years ago.

Because:

1. They can't drive
2. They don't know how to make proper tortillas
3. Their food is like the brits and their food is always lacking spice UNLESS it's unGodly amounts of habanero...Add some fucking salt!  (Yelled Noodles at tiny perplexed Mayans)

So that killed my buzz...But not going to lie that massage was almost religious.

Best part was since I was on the Brownie the hour felt like (2) hours...And yes I tipped her very well.

In the US, that would have been a Golden Ticket Massage...No one would complain about being charged $125-$150+

In my life, I've probably had over 100 massages by multiple masseuses and that one is going in my Diary as the best I've ever had.

Yeah I have a diary!

What?

I can't be the Mexican Ann Frank?  I too have lesbian fantasies!