I was watching TV with my dog and suddenly got a pulsating sharp pain behind my right eye.

Piercing...Every 15-20 seconds I'll get another pulse and it hurt.

I touched my head and it even hurt when I touched my hair.

Not going to lie, I got all worried...I was "Am I going to have an aneurysm or some bullshit?"

Looked it up and it's due to a pinch nerve somewhere...So off to the chiropractor I go soon.

I just feel like an old car...I look okay, but things are falling apart here and there.

That or I have to be all gentle.

No playing basketball, soccer, football.

Now it be foosball, 4 square and jacks...And probably when I play foosball, I'll sprain my wrist and be forced to wear matching braces that go along with my walker, wheelchair or rascal.

Imagine me, wearing nothing, but a very tight swimsuit, something European...Tight for da ladies.

Riding on my Rascal wearing that and my Green Crocs and possibly a gold colored fannypack.

Now imagine me driving by, while my rascals speaker's played Michael Jackson's "PYT" (Pretty Young Thing).

Be honest, how turned on are you right now?

Lots I bet...Now imagine that image on a Coffee Mug, t-shirt or temporary henna tattoo.

You'll literally have to beat the women or confused young Englishmen back with a stick or a scone.

Serious talk here...Fuck scones...They are TERRIBLE pastries!

That shit gets hard like 3 minutes after you get them warm, then it's like the tack, sailors had to survive on while like trying to discover other continents or go to India for terrible spices.

Yes I said it...Not everything tastes good with turmeric.

So STOP putting it in everything Rashid, Umar or Raj...Just give me the Tapatio and get out the way!

Ow...My head still hurts.  =(