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King of Cringe

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So took my pals to the beach today so we took the shuttle that goes there.

With us got on a young couple around 18-20 years old...They sat behnd me and I guess they were on their first date.

First 15 minutes were nice, wasn't trying to easedrop, but kid spoke loud in a quiet bus.

At first it was a wholesome, beautifully well spoken conversation about school projects, work and the car he was working to get etc.

Her Spanish was immaculate with a ting of Mayan Dialect, which is very Old Spanish...Very proper.

A Lost Art.

Most people speak less than a combination of 300 words at the most...So it was very nice to hear them speak so well...No slang, cuss words etc.

Then dude's Autism must have popped off or he got like crazy comfortble with the girl and started a long conversation about him, his love conquests and his expectations of women...Followed by a showering of praise on himself in fact using the term AND I"M NOT BULLSHITTING...He called himself a "feminist" because he supports his relationship partner so well.

Followed by individual BRAG stories how he had broke up with them when they started dating other guys.

WHAT?

He showed them!

I kept wanting to turn around and tell him "Shut up!  You're blowing it buddy!, Stop talking about other women to your new interest!  Stop telling her how they all basically left you!  And God's sake let her get in a word!"

By the end, I knew everything about the boy because he wouldn't shut up except; his blood type, shoe size and how many times a day he masturbated to Harry Style Videos...With his feces.

What???

I'm taking a survey...It's scientific!

Like fauci!

What???

I'm just sayin'

Anyway, they get off and dude was this skinny, short goofy looking kid with an anime shirt on.

The girl was a Heart Breaker and a Life Taker...She just doesn't know her worth........................YET.

She was wearing nursing scrubs, no make up and looked like a Disney Princess...Olive skin, dark thick Pocahauntaus hair, giant dark eyes...Just BAM!

Totally mismatched...But in his mind he was a catch.

I pray I never sounded like that douchebag during my douchebag days.

No!  Not last week!  Those were my Neo-Nazi Days...TOTALLY different.

I can actually see the girl being with him, followed by the realization that he's boring, stupid, selfish and goofy...Then her leaving him followed by this same conversation being played out again the future with some new girl with low self esteem or not understanding her worth.

Ladies...Stop dating Noodle Types for God's Sake!

 

 

 

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