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Sunday Scaries
I have work tomorrow and that alone kicks up so much anxiety. But then I have a crap ton of other things I need to take care of:
- Giant economics paper due in a week: 5-8 pages (or 2000 to 2500 words, min-max, single-spaced; or 10-15 pages if double-spaced). I have once again procrastinated and I have no one to blame but myself. Ugh.
- Have to turn in my application for certification program prior to 03/20/25 (should submit sooner because apparently all components of said application are due by then too; i.e. transcripts, etc).
- Have to turn in a voucher request to get spring tuition covered. If I don't get spring tuition paid for, I will be dropped from my spring class (last one before I graduate with my second bachelors degree). The process of requesting a voucher is a pain in the ass (think lots of sending in pdf files of my grades and schedule), but it gets tuition paid for.
- License renewals are due. Fun times doing all the continuing education units last minute at the same time as working on all the above crap.
- Myriad doctors appointments for the kids and myself (facking fack).
- Potentially apply for grad school. If accepted, I will have enslaved myself to never having a weekend to myself ever again for the next 4 to 5 years.
On top of all this, there are all the asks, wants, and needs of a spouse and two high needs children (my younger child likely has some form of colitis and keeps throwing up every weekend; her appointment with the gastroenterologist is next week). The loveliest side effect of semaglutide has struck me: gastroparesis (read as every thing pertaining to my gut is painful). I'm beyond stressed out.

Maybe I should just finish the second bachelors degree and call it good for a while. There's too much going on without adding school into the mix. Would I be okay with not continuing school, though? Thanks to a mediocre union, I'd get a nominal bump in pay every year for each subsequent year of experience/loyalty without being any smarter or doing anything other than existing.
I miss caring for myself and just myself. I miss dullness and quiet and cleanliness. I want a bedroom to myself with no one waking me out of a dead sleep because they're ill or scared or just being a noisy human being. I direly want my own life back and to feel okay again.
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