So bought a bunch of these men soaps that smelled like pine, tar, wood and I got deodorants that didn't have all these weird poisons in it like aluminum, acetone or some weird by product.

I fucking smelled great!

For like 5 minutes, then that shit would fade...So last time I was in the states I bought all this shit that was suposedly natural and would last supposedly up to 3 days.

"Why Noodles?  is it because you're so nervous of you're gigantic penis you swore you had?"

Errrrrm...Yeah...Totally.

I'll show it to you to prove my point, but it's a jewish holiday today and I can't cus of that...Seriously!  It's Happy Purim, Cream and Lox, Yom Gal Gadot Day.

Anyways, it's because Merida during the hours of 12pm-7pm feels like you are 6 inches from the sun and you sweat like Joe Biden at a Girl Scout's Troop Meeting.

So I thought I'll go all natrual and still smell great.

Nope...I literally body showered all day long.

So my girl said:  "Try mine...It's Dove."

Worked amazingly and now I have to go get some, because that Dove was legit and that expensive, natrual, snooty hippy ones were useless.