All of a sudden my metabolism has kicked in and i'm losing weight quick.

Maybe my eating more red meat, the weather or because subconsciously I've been nervous about this major move?

Anyways, before I left I bought these nice tactical pants...I was a size 38 waist...Not small but not huge either.

Bought a Guyabera today since it's the Fancy Shit in this part of Mexico...Like this but with red trim:

So when I got home, I put on the pants for the first time to see how it looked.

I think I lost about 4 inches and they looked waaaaaaay too big:

Now I'm going to have to go get them tailored...Otherwise people will assume I got sick with Monkey Pox and lost weight.

Which I DID NOT CATCH after making sweet sweet love in the woods with Brian Omen...As we wrestled and accidently made eye contact.

Releasing feelings that we never knew existed...Leading to lies and promises cascading into deep euphoric emotions...With plans to open a small B & B slash Antique Store in some quiet Maine town where we would also sell maple syrup and T-Shirts that read:

Errrrrm.

Those were rumours spread by the Haterz and Biden.