Last night I had another lucid dream. I was in a house that was strangely also the inside of my work and also the inside of an aquarium shop.  I was trying to get some of my bettas out of the aquarium and then an old friend from high school (hint: he's an asshole) approached me trying to shake my hand. I backed away from him in fear because I fucking hate his guts and know that he'll always have an ulterior motive any time he approaches me for anything.  He acted all offended and walked away. Good riddance!

So suddenly my work/aquarium shop started transforming into a giant house. Everyone in the store began to leave as if they didn't want to be there all at once.  I realized I was nude and was thankful they were all leaving, but then this guy started coming down the stairs into the room me and my friend were sitting in.  I got really self conscious about being naked so I ran into a shower but the shower was all dilapidated and the tiles were coming up. That was when I realized I was in a dream because everything about the shower kept changing by the second. So I decided to magically manifest a cute outfit onto myself and then put on my grandmother's purple cloak and decided to go explore outside the house. When I stepped outside the view was breathtakingly paradisical and it looked a lot like Santa Barbara on steroids.  I began to walk out onto the road when I saw a young man bleeding on the side walk out of his mouth.  I told him "Bruh, this is a dream, you're fine". Then his blood went away and was replaced with a pacifier and he went to sleep. "Told you" I laughed and walked away.  I looked back towards the mountains and noticed they had changed and there was now castle looking building sticking out of the cliffs, a lot like a town in a Miyazaki movie.  So I walked towards the buildings to go explore them. It began to feel a little like a theme park. As I was entering an ally that lead up into some shops I looked behind me and noticed everyone was dressed like pirates and LOTR characters.  I kept walking up the sidewalk and felt that I didn't have shoes on my feet as if I were a hobbit. I finally approached a pub and began to try to read the sign when I realized I couldn't because it was in a language I couldn't comprehend. They say that in dreams you can't read writing, but while astral projecting you can. A short man who looked like a hobbit approached the doorway as well and I asked him "Is this reality or is it a dream?" He said "This is a dream" and then I asked him "So is this like my subconscious creation or something?" and he just walked away without answering.  After that I think I woke up.

What I realized from all of this is that if you were a god creating your own reality there is no way you could ever actually be lonely. If my brain really created all that imagery, all that vast gorgeous landscape and amazing buildings, and places to explore I had never even seen before and I didn't even know where I was going, then surely some sort of mystery and unknown would still exist even if you were a god who created a universe. That could imply that the creator of the Universe we are in now is possibly walking among us completely unaware that he created everything here and maybe he's just having fun like I was in my lucid dream.  If that's the case, then can we really say s/he is evil? Maybe he's just having an experience and completely unaware that lots of bad things are going on here at the same time. Maybe we are even just a product of this god's imagination and none of our suffering is even actually real, which honestly kind of sucks because it implies its all for nothing, but is also kind of awesome because as a god it means you would never actually be it all, know it all or be omnipresent. You could conceivably create an entire reality and just live in it and maybe that's what we're doing right now. So I've decided to start asking myself every day throughout the day "Is this reality or is this a dream?" It sort of makes the universe we are living in a bit more bearable, because if its not real, maybe it is under our control and yet may still be worth enjoying.