There Noodles was, driving his Ford F-750 V13 two blocks to get to the closest 7-11.

It got negative 5 miles a gallon.

As he got out, he put on his "MILF Inspector" hat to go with his "I beat Anorexia" T-shirt.

He idled the engine a little since Trump has got gas down to 12 cents a gallon or an Argentine Handjob for gas tank.

As he got out a small specled black child asked:

"Would you like to buy a chocolate bar for my basketball camp?"

I quickly slapped him, told him to get a job and grabbed 2 milk chocolate bars.

He yelled "But I'm 7!!!"

I was about to enter the store and look for my favorite tobacco chew...It was Michelle Obama flavored...Which was a delightful mix of oranges, sweet limes, bitterness and testosterone.

Along with my cigarettes, Bald Eagle Nest flavored...Just like the Indians called it.

You could taste the freedom in every puff.

Yeah we bringing that word back along with "Retard and Faggot."

Just like in the Bible.

I saw gas had gone up 1 cent and grumbled "Damn now we got to invade Venezuela...I mean liberate it!"

I also saw a young man quivering in a corner, holding his coffee in 2 hands who was crying.

His mascara running down his face and long fake eyelashes.

I said "You okay son?"

He looked angrily at me and yelled "No!" 

In a high pitch voice that only dogs could hear, as he pulled up his red tube top and pulled down his short miniskirt.

I thought "Damn what are the odds I'd bump into a Canadian at this 7-11?"

He/She/Zir yelled "No!  What will I do now that abortions are illegal under Trump!"

I stared for a minute at his 5'Oclock shadow and whispered "Your body my choice."

Slapped his ass as I walked by in flip flops...Showing my fresh, "I LOVE TRUMP (No homo)" tattoo.

Then I asked the counter guy where he kept all the pregnant midget porn magazines...Not for me!

For a friend.

As "Push It" by Salt and Peppa played in the background.

I instead grabbed a New Yorker to read about that amazing Female CEO with the penis.

"Courageous and Brave"-I whispered.