There he was awakened from a whiskey induced dream where he was King of Cats and made love to women who were aroused by his poverty and lack of proper age appropriate clothing.

"What the fuck do they know?"-Yelled Noodles silently as he slapped on his MuMu Dress, Green Lime Clogs and Elvis Wig.

What adventures will Noodles have today?

Threesome?  2 day magic mushroom weekend?  Trip to another country?  Throw a going away party for friends and family and pass out on whiskey?

"No I already did that this month."-Said a sage and very proper Noodles-"I'll sell my SUV...Like a Big Boy should."

Kinda spooked, have not been without a vehicle in about 30 years...I mean I can borrow my girl's, get an uber, rent a car etc, but it's different from not having a car when it's at the mechanic's and NOT having a car.

But I can't take it with me, no way am I drivng through the interior of Mexico in it and no use leaving it here...But it is like a comfort blanket to have it.

Wish me luck kids!  Hopefully Carmax gives me a decent offer.

It's all going into washer, dryer and garden money.

Oh my God that sounds so Old Timey!

Here's what I would look like if this was 1903:

Except about 48 years older and with a horse cock.

I keep it in my backpack in a large ziplock bag.

What? 

I'm just sayin'

What?