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Look back on your worst day.

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Sometimes it is worth to look back onto the worst days you ever had, in order to love yourself a little more

As I was just sitting down in my art studio to work on my current cosplay project, I realised that last year this day at this exact time was probably the worst I had experienced in that year.

I was emotionally in a very dark place back then. Severely depressed, feeling uncertain, lost, alone, without perspective and just utterly hopeless. And the one thing that was supposed to cheer me up, a story someone told me to give me back some hope for better days, broke me apart entirely.
Just a few little words that made me break down to the floor and cry in devastation. There I lay on the floor of my studio crying painfully, trying to muffle the sounds of my soul screaming to not alert my neighbours, unable to breath, unable to stop myself from sobbing. 
It didn't give me hope, it crashed me. But it gave me something: An End. Closure to something I could not yet let go of, although I had been trying for over a year to accept it and let it go.

And now I'm here. At the same place in the same room. Doing the same thig that had me helped to calm myself down that day: Sewing. Focusing on nothing but the stitches ahead and the gentle humming of the sewing machine. This time I am doing good, happily humming along. Stressed, but in a good way: Challenged. Healthier. Over it. This time I am fine. And all the things that devastated me are over. I let go or worked hard to improve them.

Looking back just makes me realise how strong we can be on our own in the moments no one sees, we are the strongest. Even when devastated. Eventually, we pick up the pieces and sew them together again. We can be our own saviours. Never let anyone judge how strong you are. They haven't seen you in piceces  and how you alone picked up the all piceces and put yourself togehter again. again and again.

I hope someone in a really bad place reads this now and it helps them. Better days will come and I know you will think "this is postcard crap" while you read this. Yes. I think the same when I'm depressed it is fine to think that way. 

And maybe someone reads this while being OK,  and will now feel inspired look back to their worst days too and realise how far they have come and be a little proud of themselves and love themselves a little more.
<3

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