After my mother passed, I needed some sort of verification that life goes on...Our soul, energy, chi whatever you want to call it.

So I went on a Psychadelic Bonanza.

Mushrooms, LSD and DMT.

The shrooms were amazing, but all it helped me see was patterns...The LSD was trippy, but it only made me realize that we are in some sort of weird game.

The DMT did NOT work for me.

Finally, I saw I could buy Salvia...Reading on it it SOUNDED like what I wanted.

Went to Reno where it was legal and bought some, bought some off line from a solid company in AZ also.

Just as I was about to try it...I discovered it was also a detachment drug.

Meaning you can take it and no longer feel you're part of the world...Or body or life.

AND I DON'T MEAN WHILE ON IT.

It changes your brain chemistry and you know you're here, you know who you are, but it all feels fake, like you're watching yourself on a TV show.

You control you, but you don't feel a connction.

So fuck all dat.

Post Malone did an interview where he talked about how someone must have laced one of his joints and now he's just here.

He sings, lives, his life, laughs, cries etc...But it's almost like he's wearing an Avatar.

His essense/soul isn't connected...He's just floating...His connections feel fake with others.

Like if you're in a video game and have computer generated partners for your quest...You like them, but you don't feel much because they are nothing.

Sooooooooooooo I said "fuck dat!"

I want to look behind the curtain, but don't want to lose the little bit of sweetness I have left.

So now it just sits there in sealed packages.