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So yesterday I got to throw a stick for an English Bulldog a few times at the local dog park. Later that day I mentioned it to my wife, because we're both dog people and you don't really see a lot of English bulldogs except on TV once in a while. I said that people say most of them are friendly dogs, but they sure are an ugly breed...they look like gargoyles or something. She says "Yeah, they're kinda like you that way."  I ask in what way that's like me, and she's all " uh... I meant because they're mean looking, but big softies really". She then goes on to add that I could be the model for a badass gargoyle sculpture or carving or whatever and it should be my costume next Halloween. Too Lazy, Don't Read: It seems my wife thinks I'm ugly enough to be good gargoyle inspiration. She still  married me,  so I guess the joke's on her lol. 

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Religion
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