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"In gambling terms, a casino 'cooler' is an individual  who brings bad luck to others, usually a casino collaborator, and the presence of whom at gambling tables only disrupts the activity of other players."

Noodles stays faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from those people...Ever meet someone who no matter what has terrible luck?

Just one fucking thing after another?

They're usually not bad people, but they don't listen to advice or do what's needed to not have fucked up luck.

They usually just accept that they will have bad luck and it follows wherever they go.

Last night or I should say about 5 hours ago I heard crying outside...I was going to ignore it and mind my own business, but I felt bad for them so I robed up and went outside...It was my neighbor.

It was a lady whom isn't a good person, but yet isn't a bad person.

She's an inbetweener...But she's not a thief or tries to hurt anyone...She's just oddly fake.

She gets panic attacks while thinking of how she was fucked over years ago and can never let go...Shit that happened 20+ years ago.

Shit she had no control over...She had lost custoy of her child.

But she'll still rage aginst the injustice of it...Or maybe she had it coming because what if she acted crazy at the time?

Anyways, I went out, talked to her, calmed her down.

She was cycling into mania...She would focus on the percieved injustice, cry and psych herself up and get sadder and madder.

She would then not be able to sleep, get drunk, not eat, smoke a ton which of course only made her cycle worse.

I have tried a few times to explain it and she does the haughty "I know I know" like she has no idea why I'm telling her that...BUT SHE NEVER TRIES TO CHANGE HER PATTERNS...NOR DOES SHE THINK SHE'S IN THE WRONG.

Does she have a right to be sad if she was fucked over?  Of course she does.

Is it productive at 72 and sickly to do that over and over for something that happened in 1994?

No...it's stupid.

And only hurts herself.

We all have terrible bad sad things happen...My Mama died in October but you have to remember and move on as best as you can because otherwise grief will eat you up.

You have to make plans to improve your life, not just wait till bullshit is at the door.

I taught her some breathing exercises and she went back to bed better.

But soon she'll do it again.

I can't help her.

She will pull me down and drown me...What's she's looking for is someone to trasfer her anger and sadness to.

Spread her misery so others feel as bad as she does.

Even if she's not doing it on purpose that's what some people are.

A gloomy sad shadow of themselves who suck the luck and life force out of others.

I feel bad for her but I will stay the FUCK away from her.

She doesn't try to change, then there's nothing I can do.

 

 

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