Day 3 felt a bit drowsier, but that might have been because the previous night I'd had a panic attack and had trouble falling asleep. I must have appeared deep in thought or something because I was asked several times if I was okay; honestly, around the noise of the kids, though, sometimes I deflate and become flat in affect. I must keep track of the highs and lows to monitor for hypomania (the first 2 days in, I felt that exaggerated sense of wellbeing, rush of euphoria, and could not keep...

Now I'm Ernie.

Like if it was 3AM in the morning and I saw this knocking at my door...What would I do? And I jokingly may have said "Cry though most of the blowjob." Oddly enough those fags on Twitter or X didn't think that was funny. Harumf!  Philistines! That shit was hilarious and on the fly.    

Hit us yesterday and rain was heavy as was the flooding...But nothing too bad. The hurricane is going up so we only got the outside rain storm with very light wind. But I lost electricity for a day. But I had emergency lights and books, my stove is gas and my water is by gravity so I was fine. My phone started dying, but I keep an Emergency Power Bank for that. And now I'm all good.   Stay prepped people.

Over the past few months I've been trying to develop my own personal practice of spirituality through various modalities, one of them being prayer. I have set up a small altar on my dresser with a rune, a tarot card and some crystals and I light a new candle every night and pray for various people in my life who need healing. I also give thanks for all the things I am grateful for.  I would call them "blessings" but we know how our language has been manipulated, so I guess I'll just say...

I've struggled a lot in life with letting people pressure me into doing things I either feel uncomfortable doing or outright don't want to do.  People guilt trip me, try to make me feel like something is in my best interest, or I just care so much about the person that I would serve them in any manner. Having this penchant for service has led me down a lot of dark roads, and because I have the tendency to see the best in people and ignore red flags in behavior and intention, I end up...

This isn't about the spiritual reasons you get targeted, so much as the material reasons. And I'm not talking about this in a "targeted individual" sense because I don't think I'm particularly special in that sense. I think most people are targeted in life, so I see no point in identifying as part of a super special minority or something. Mainly I want to talk about how I approach friendships/acquaintanceships now after a lifetime full of targeting. The key is to remain objective with people...

My floor got done...Give them a day to finish the details, then polish this baby up =) That's how boring my life is...I am SERIOUSLY excited about waxing my floor tomorrow. Like a black dude looking at a chubby big boobied white girl at the mall: But who is secretly a Feminist and wants to also fight against the "Patriacrchy."  Because ladies...I am an Ally.  Just sayin'

Been hitting the gym hard...Feel good and rested...But wondering how long before I catch another bout of Covid. I should have immunity, but not going to pretend I COULDN'T catch it twice...I have multiple friends who have had it 2-3 times...ALTHOUGH a majority were vaxxed. But I'm better prepared for it this time ANNNND if I am going to catch it I want to catch it now before the end of January where I'll be travelling twice out of the county. Last thing I want is to to positive out of country...