I'm sinking more and more into one of my sleep escapism-depressions again. Everything is so discouraging and seems so hopeless....
I can barely get myself to leave the bed lately. I lack any motivation and elan to do anything.
Perpetually trapped in task paralysis.
On workdays I push myself to still give 110% despite constantly asking "what am I doing it for its not like it's fruitful for me". Work drains me so much I can't find the energy to look for new jobs after hours.
And on Weekends I am still drained and barely drag myself out of bed after sleeping for 12hr, then I end up on the couch staring into my phone screen doomscrolling, because I can't get myself to sit on my PC and look for job offers because I know there are barely any that are suitable for me. But pursuing my hobbies makes me feel guilty because "I should spend this time on looking for jobs".
So I just sit there on the couch trapped by invisible chains of guilt and discourage while I'm hoping for the unlikely miracle that a Recruiter will find my job profile and it's the perfect match for both sides. And that the world politics wills suddenly be bearable again. But with the current leaders pfft finding the Amber-room again is more likely than having a secure and happy future.
Thats why I keep asking myself: What future am even doing it for?
I'm sinking more and more into one of my sleep escapism-depressions again. Everything is so discouraging and seems so hopeless....
I can barely get myself to leave the bed lately. I lack any motivation and elan to do anything.
Perpetually trapped in task paralysis.
On workdays I push myself to still give 110% despite constantly asking "what am I doing it for its not like it's fruitful for me". Work drains me so much I can't find the energy to look for new jobs after hours.
And on Weekends I am still drained and barely drag myself out of bed after sleeping for 12hr, then I end up on the couch staring into my phone screen doomscrolling, because I can't get myself to sit on my PC and look for job offers because I know there are barely any that are suitable for me. But pursuing my hobbies makes me feel guilty because "I should spend this time on looking for jobs".
So I just sit there on the couch trapped by invisible chains of guilt and discourage while I'm hoping for the unlikely miracle that a Recruiter will find my job profile and it's the perfect match for both sides. And that the world politics wills suddenly be bearable again. But with the current leaders pfft finding the Amber-room again is more likely than having a secure and happy future.
Thats why I keep asking myself: What future am even doing it for?
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