There's a reason why I titled this article the way I did. I'm not sure if I'm trying to express myself or break this serious writer's block that's driving me mad, depressing me, and annoying me. It isn't nonfiction writing that is the blockage, but it is songwriting or lyrical poetry and fiction writing that I have been blocked with for almost 25 years. I used to write fiction and nonfiction. But with fiction, I tended to become lost and it is as if I forgot how to write fictitious stories. The problem isn't the characters or even plot and dialogues. The problem is getting the stories started. I have tons of writing ideas, prompts, and story starters, but I cannot get them started.  I don't write like some people. They can write their ending first, middle second, and then their beginning. Some can write it in whichever order works for them in this way, but I cannot do that. I feel like when I begin the story, I am going where the road leads with it. If anyone has any ideas on how to start a beginning that's compelling, please don't hesitate to fill me in. I'm open to any idea on this. Once I get it started, then I got the rest. 

     What makes me sad and feeling dumb and slow about it is I have a B.A. in Creative Writing/English at SNHU or Southern New Hampshire University as an online student in September or 2021. I have gotten nowhere with it because I'm struggling badly on the cover letter part to my resumes. I can write nonfiction, as I may have mentioned earlier, like it's mainly nothing. But the extremely long writer's block in songwriting and fiction has me frozen to fall on anything else. I used to write stories and such all the time and cannot recall what exactly happened that caused this block.

     That is one thing to know about me. I do have a B.A. in Creative Writing. There are all sorts of things I do. I would love to tell you about them.

     I do have plans on returning back to school to get a B.S. or Bachelor's in Science degree in Audio Production. If I cannot get the B.S., which is what i really want, i will obtain an Associate's Degree in it. The reason for this is because I am kind of a music maker. I create different mixes or totally revamp songs from music apps like, Music Maker Jam or MMJ, Groovepad, Bandlab, and maybe a few others. I specialize mostly in making instrumental tracks, but I want to sing some and write lyrics to them and such. Plus, I want to play my left handed acoustic guitar again, learn bass, and learn keyboards. I used to take piano lessons when I was younger but didn't stick with it as long as I wanted to. My brother taught me the guitar a bit, as he has been self taught since he was in seventh grade, and I learned from that. Bass is a brand new world to me, but I would love to play it. Also, I want to podcast. Or be a podcast host and director or producer. I don't just want the degree for myself, but I would love to produce podcasts and music for others.

     I am an artist of sorts. What you see in these photos posted here and on the cover are my face swap reel projects. I have a thing for face swap apps, and I create gifs out of them, as well. I do some graphic design, video and photo editing, create gifs, and there's my profile pictures that are really me but dolled up. This profile pic on here is a gothed out version of me, but here is what I really look like.

That is really me. I am a Blondie for now. 

     Not only do I mess around with photos, videos, and gifs, I also hand draw anime, manga, symbols, pop culture stuff, famous faces, characters, and just people. I mostly draw women because it seems women are much more easier to draw. But I need to learn to draw males better. Here are some collages I made, or you can check out my photo albums on this profile, that represent some of the things I have drawn.

These are my anime, manga, chibi, and kawaii drawings from 2018 to 2021....

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These are my pop culture, famous faces, characters, and other portrait hand drawings from 2018 to 2021

     I do have some I did this year, and you should also find those in my photo album on my profile. So I design, hand draw, edit, animate sometimes, and even graphic design stuff, as earlier mentioned, as an artist.

   I am also a practicing Empath and Clairsentient. For almost 31 years, since I was thirteen or fourteen years old, i learned i was an inborn Empath and Clairsentient by using Ouija Boards but with a partner. Then I moved on to tarot cards, and usually use these as my divination tool to have conversations with my higher power and to help and guide others. I can also read people in photographs, if given to me. I know basic Astrology and would calculate your Moon and Rising Signs with your Birth sign by knowing place of birth and time (not mandatory but is helpful). These three signs can spell out to me who you are as a whole and other possibilities. I know some Numerology, and I calculate your life path number and compsre it it to your life path or birthright tarot card. I can also use numerology to calculate the tarot cards for the next few years as an outlook and possible outcome reading. I have interpreted dreams. I have plans to do this for a living, or to start our with, to build me capitol to get where needed and meant to be. I know my mission is to entertain others through all that I am needing to work harder on. I'm a writer, an artist, musician, podcaster, and an intuitive advisor.

     There you have it. These are the things I do. The reason my title is named this is because this is more of a brainstorm article that does its best to stick with the point. But I'm also working on curing my writer's block, as this is nonfiction writing here. I would love some help on getting a story started that is compelling and attention grasping. Any thoughts any of you who read this have, please please please please fill me in. I'm open to anything at this point. Even if you know resume and cover letter writing for entry-level applicants with no working experience but volunteer experiences, that would be awesome, too.

     Thank you to those who have taken their time out to read this hodgepodge stuff. Maybe I'll start writing some of my stuff on here, as well. That would be my short stories, lyrics, nonfiction stuff..whatever.