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  • Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash!!!
    Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash!!!
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  • YouTube.com/XZanthiaMUSIC This is music that refuses to sit still.
    It isn’t here to soothe you or fade into the background—
    it exists to keep you alert, slightly off-balance,
    never certain what’s about to unfold next.

    Every moment is a corner you haven’t turned yet.
    Just when you think you understand it,
    it shifts, lunges, softens, surprises.
    It’s an acquired taste, absolutely—
    not something inherited, familiar, or politely nostalgic.
    This is not comfort food. This is appetite disruption.

    I want the sound to confuse you, to intrigue you,
    to make you uneasy in a way that keeps pulling you closer.
    To catch you enjoying tension,
    finding pleasure in resistance,
    realizing that discomfort can feel intimate
    when it refuses to let go.

    You may not always know what you’re hearing,
    but you’ll never be bored—
    because at any moment it’s ready to leap out,
    wrap around you,
    and pull you into that strange place
    where struggle feels like an embrace.



    Project 19.5 is an ethereal, esoteric music project that began in 1998, long before genres like “witch house,” “dark ambient,” or “experimental pop” had names attached to them. What started as intimate sonic experimentation grew over decades into a body of work shaped by collaborations with multiple producers across different eras, each phase capturing a different emotional frequency and psychological landscape.

    Rather than traditional songwriting, Project 19.5 focuses on much, but not all non-lyrical vocals, breath, tone, texture, and instinct. My voice is treated as an instrument—hovering between noise, chant, dream, and ritual—allowing listeners to project their own meaning without being guided by explicit words. This approach creates an immersive emotional experience that exists somewhere between beauty and unease.

    In 2025, the project entered a new phase: revisiting, remixing, and remastering archival material to finally release it in its most refined and intentional form. These recordings preserve the raw spirit of their original creation while enhancing the depth, clarity, and atmosphere—bridging past and present into a singular evolving entity.

    Project 19.5 represents the ethereal side of XZanthia—still haunting, still unsettling, but softer and more internal than her darker project, Jupiter’s Thunder. The Project 19.5 album Uzumaki exists within this realm as a gentler spiral, incorporating lyrics while maintaining a dreamlike, hypnotic quality.

    This is music designed to be felt rather than understood—a liminal soundscape for introspection, transformation, and emotional resonance beyond language.
    YouTube.com/XZanthiaMUSIC πŸ‘½πŸ’ΏπŸŽ€πŸŽΆπŸŽ΅ This is music that refuses to sit still. It isn’t here to soothe you or fade into the background— it exists to keep you alert, slightly off-balance, never certain what’s about to unfold next. Every moment is a corner you haven’t turned yet. Just when you think you understand it, it shifts, lunges, softens, surprises. It’s an acquired taste, absolutely— not something inherited, familiar, or politely nostalgic. This is not comfort food. This is appetite disruption. I want the sound to confuse you, to intrigue you, to make you uneasy in a way that keeps pulling you closer. To catch you enjoying tension, finding pleasure in resistance, realizing that discomfort can feel intimate when it refuses to let go. You may not always know what you’re hearing, but you’ll never be bored— because at any moment it’s ready to leap out, wrap around you, and pull you into that strange place where struggle feels like an embrace. Project 19.5 is an ethereal, esoteric music project that began in 1998, long before genres like “witch house,” “dark ambient,” or “experimental pop” had names attached to them. What started as intimate sonic experimentation grew over decades into a body of work shaped by collaborations with multiple producers across different eras, each phase capturing a different emotional frequency and psychological landscape. Rather than traditional songwriting, Project 19.5 focuses on much, but not all non-lyrical vocals, breath, tone, texture, and instinct. My voice is treated as an instrument—hovering between noise, chant, dream, and ritual—allowing listeners to project their own meaning without being guided by explicit words. This approach creates an immersive emotional experience that exists somewhere between beauty and unease. In 2025, the project entered a new phase: revisiting, remixing, and remastering archival material to finally release it in its most refined and intentional form. These recordings preserve the raw spirit of their original creation while enhancing the depth, clarity, and atmosphere—bridging past and present into a singular evolving entity. Project 19.5 represents the ethereal side of XZanthia—still haunting, still unsettling, but softer and more internal than her darker project, Jupiter’s Thunder. The Project 19.5 album Uzumaki exists within this realm as a gentler spiral, incorporating lyrics while maintaining a dreamlike, hypnotic quality. This is music designed to be felt rather than understood—a liminal soundscape for introspection, transformation, and emotional resonance beyond language.
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  • No one is obligated to buy and read new fiction.

    98% of people will get more out of revisiting old Graham Greene novels (which are prescient, atmospheric, and beautifully written), for example, than reading the ‘best’ of what has been written in the past 10 years.

    And other authors, not necessarily those that are among the classics. Better writing, better perspective etc.
    No one is obligated to buy and read new fiction. 98% of people will get more out of revisiting old Graham Greene novels (which are prescient, atmospheric, and beautifully written), for example, than reading the ‘best’ of what has been written in the past 10 years. And other authors, not necessarily those that are among the classics. Better writing, better perspective etc.
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  • https://goofypiecesbyaimeesuzanne.blogspot.com/2025/12/the-therapeutic-benefits-of-whacking.html?m=1

    First blog created in forever. This is just a random blog where there will be posts funny FICTION stuff.

    Written by: Aimee Suzanne
    Just Writings

    #funny #hilarious #hysterical #fiction #funnystory #funnystories #creativewriting #writing #comedywriting #brainstorm #brainstorming #brainstormwriting #funnyblogpost #funnyblogpoetd
    https://goofypiecesbyaimeesuzanne.blogspot.com/2025/12/the-therapeutic-benefits-of-whacking.html?m=1 First blog created in forever. This is just a random blog where there will be posts funny FICTION stuff. Written by: Aimee Suzanne Just Writings #funny #hilarious #hysterical #fiction #funnystory #funnystories #creativewriting #writing #comedywriting #brainstorm #brainstorming #brainstormwriting #funnyblogpost #funnyblogpoetd
    GOOFYPIECESBYAIMEESUZANNE.BLOGSPOT.COM
    The Therapeutic Benefits of Whacking People on the Head with a Shovel
    Have you ever felt overwhelmed by stress and anxiety? Are you looking for a unique way to release pent-up emotions and find inner peace? L...
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  • Happiness and good Fortune are like a golden sand flowing into an hourglass of life sometimes there are black grains representing the bad things that sometimes happen but for most they are tuning to gold once they reach the majority of gold.
    But for some people the sand has more black grains than most, and some of those tend to give their few golden grains to others to help them turn their black to gold, which often leave the givers with overpowering obsidian sand that often turns new gold to black. And if they ask others for just a speckle of gold in return to help Turing the black to gold, they often have to beg for it or end up turning the others sand black just by opening their their hourglass.

    I am certainly one of the latter people. My body and mind is filled with poisonous black sand and my tongue turns it into venom injecting it to others whenever reach for support or comfort.
    I have realized a very concerning pattern that gives me the worst anxiety right now. I'm poisoning the last golden grain of sand whenever I open my heart and don't swallow my feelings for once.
    I should finally stop trying and go back to being the quiet listener that gives her golden grains to others and fights against the black by herself. That will spare me from a lot of feelings of disappointment, and anxiety and guilt about upsetting others by voicing when I'm being upset or disappointed. I'll just suck it up and be too forgiving for my own good the sake of harmony.
    How sad is that? I have become scared of being upset because it upsets others and I feel guilty then. Can one be more of a peoplepleaser just to not end up all alone?

    Today was a terrible day on so many levels, not only was I still feeling upset, I was also anxious to the point of barely being able to breathe because I had I realized this destructive and poisonous pattern that always, really ALWAYS has been following when I open up and threatens the last good thing I have that is supposed to be an anchor right now.
    And on top of all, some actually supposedly good news came in from a friend but I can't be happy for them instead it really pulls me down because the topic reminds me of my health issues that are kinda related...
    And as I currently have no one to talk to because my tongue is venomous and I just ruin everone elses minds, I have to rant it out to strangers in the internet. Maybe the more creative writing approach I took in the beginning is at least somewhat enjoyable to read. It was kind inspired by this song...
    https://youtu.be/FK3TDHnD1_0?list=RDFK3TDHnD1_0
    Happiness and good Fortune are like a golden sand flowing into an hourglass of life sometimes there are black grains representing the bad things that sometimes happen but for most they are tuning to gold once they reach the majority of gold. But for some people the sand has more black grains than most, and some of those tend to give their few golden grains to others to help them turn their black to gold, which often leave the givers with overpowering obsidian sand that often turns new gold to black. And if they ask others for just a speckle of gold in return to help Turing the black to gold, they often have to beg for it or end up turning the others sand black just by opening their their hourglass. I am certainly one of the latter people. My body and mind is filled with poisonous black sand and my tongue turns it into venom injecting it to others whenever reach for support or comfort. I have realized a very concerning pattern that gives me the worst anxiety right now. I'm poisoning the last golden grain of sand whenever I open my heart and don't swallow my feelings for once. I should finally stop trying and go back to being the quiet listener that gives her golden grains to others and fights against the black by herself. That will spare me from a lot of feelings of disappointment, and anxiety and guilt about upsetting others by voicing when I'm being upset or disappointed. I'll just suck it up and be too forgiving for my own good the sake of harmony. How sad is that? I have become scared of being upset because it upsets others and I feel guilty then. Can one be more of a peoplepleaser just to not end up all alone? Today was a terrible day on so many levels, not only was I still feeling upset, I was also anxious to the point of barely being able to breathe because I had I realized this destructive and poisonous pattern that always, really ALWAYS has been following when I open up and threatens the last good thing I have that is supposed to be an anchor right now. And on top of all, some actually supposedly good news came in from a friend but I can't be happy for them instead it really pulls me down because the topic reminds me of my health issues that are kinda related... And as I currently have no one to talk to because my tongue is venomous and I just ruin everone elses minds, I have to rant it out to strangers in the internet. Maybe the more creative writing approach I took in the beginning is at least somewhat enjoyable to read. It was kind inspired by this song... https://youtu.be/FK3TDHnD1_0?list=RDFK3TDHnD1_0
    Dark Love
    1
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  • Nothing is worse for a highly intelligent and gifted person to be under-challenged and underwhelmed....

    Today, I came home from work crying because I realised how underchallenged and boring my work currently is. My expertise is currently not being used because customer projects come in slow and don't get to the downstream processing/purification part (I'm a specialist for protein pruification). I don't get many other opportunities to show my skills and knowledge and only do some minor backup tasks like writing working instructions...Nothing about my work currenly feels rewaring and chellengeing. I am a scientist, I love the try and error and the challenge! I thrive in that. I literally work best with stress and being overloaded with work than with being underwhelmed...
    On top of it I'm gettin really bad imposter syndrome because of not being able to show my expertise while my colleagues currenlty thrive and get ever opportunity to show their knowledge and expert fields. We got a new teamlead in march and so far I feel like I could not show off/prove my skille and knowledge to him while the others could. I feel like I'm standing in the shadows sometimes even being actively pushed back into them. Like a tool put in a shelf not neede for now collecting dust.
    It's incredibly frustrating and deressing for me because I am a scientist by heart I love my profession...

    Now my overthinking brain gets even to the point where I'm asking myself if they are boring me out on purpose, so I leave the company on my own accord and they don't have to fire me, because they can't without a reason....
    I'm more and more thinking of actually looking for a different posititon... Maybe I'll apply for a pHD after all...
    Nothing is worse for a highly intelligent and gifted person to be under-challenged and underwhelmed.... Today, I came home from work crying because I realised how underchallenged and boring my work currently is. My expertise is currently not being used because customer projects come in slow and don't get to the downstream processing/purification part (I'm a specialist for protein pruification). I don't get many other opportunities to show my skills and knowledge and only do some minor backup tasks like writing working instructions...Nothing about my work currenly feels rewaring and chellengeing. I am a scientist, I love the try and error and the challenge! I thrive in that. I literally work best with stress and being overloaded with work than with being underwhelmed... On top of it I'm gettin really bad imposter syndrome because of not being able to show my expertise while my colleagues currenlty thrive and get ever opportunity to show their knowledge and expert fields. We got a new teamlead in march and so far I feel like I could not show off/prove my skille and knowledge to him while the others could. I feel like I'm standing in the shadows sometimes even being actively pushed back into them. Like a tool put in a shelf not neede for now collecting dust. It's incredibly frustrating and deressing for me because I am a scientist by heart I love my profession... Now my overthinking brain gets even to the point where I'm asking myself if they are boring me out on purpose, so I leave the company on my own accord and they don't have to fire me, because they can't without a reason.... I'm more and more thinking of actually looking for a different posititon... Maybe I'll apply for a pHD after all...
    Dark Love
    I'm Dead
    2
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  • 45 years ago, one of my favorite comedies was released. Star-studded cast, great writing, and I'm sure was the inspiration for Happy Gilmore...another great flick on it's own.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phagxOal7_A

    45 years ago, one of my favorite comedies was released. Star-studded cast, great writing, and I'm sure was the inspiration for Happy Gilmore...another great flick on it's own. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phagxOal7_A
    Dark Love
    1
    0 Comments 0 Shares 940 Views
  • I hate writing a new, or updating a current CV, taking the most mudane of tasks and spice it up! I manage people and answer phones enough said.
    I hate writing a new, or updating a current CV, taking the most mudane of tasks and spice it up! I manage people and answer phones enough said.
    2 Comments 0 Shares 1K Views
  • Looks like its time to update my CV, I had a nasty exchange with my upper managerment today; let's just say I can see the writing on the wall.
    Looks like its time to update my CV, I had a nasty exchange with my upper managerment today; let's just say I can see the writing on the wall.
    0 Comments 0 Shares 1K Views
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