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Hysterics

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I've never considered myself one given to being hysterical (and even if I used to get panic attacks, they were primarily in my twenties living in a toxic home environment...they became nonexistent in my thirties). A day or two ago, though, I developed throbbing chest pain.

Having A Heart Attack GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

I did a quick mental rundown of my symptoms and decided to take my blood pressure; it was 98/50 and a few minutes later it recovered to 106/50 (my blood pressure typically runs around 120/80; was minorly concerned because nearly narrow pulse pressure is not a good thing). Other than the pain, I had no other symptoms, so I decided it was likely dehydration and slept it off. The next day, the pain had mostly died down, so I didn't think much of it until later in the day when I became very stressed out at work and it flared up again. I nearly went to urgent care after work because I had worked myself into thinking I was having a cardiac episode of some kind: vasospasm leading to demand ischemia. 

I took my blood pressure again and it had recovered to baseline. So what the hell? Is stress so bad in my life right now that I am getting waves of intermittent chest pain? In the past, I've experienced chest wall pain, which was attributed to hormonal ebb and flow (certain times of the month mean my chest will enlarge and hurt, but this is completely unrelated to anything cardiac in origin). Out of an abundance of caution, I made an appointment, but then I felt silly because my blood presure is fine, I am relatively young, and I don't have the risk factors.; likely experiencing costochonditis (chest wall pain), which resolves with time and conservative home management. I canceled the appointment and will try instead to do some self-care: go for a bike ride, maybe buy some clothes, do Just Dance on Nintendo Switch, maybe jog, hike, or rake leaves. Clean a little.

Stay Calm GIFs | Tenor

Life is relatively good and I just need to take a deep breath.

Dark Love
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