#women #men #disasters #silence #solutions

Big tiddie solutions: partaking in a legally grey substance in the form of a vape at a concert? Blow the vapor in your cleavage so it doesn't go in anyone's face.

On a related note, if anyone finds a video of a fat chick at a Sisters of Mercy concert in a Dolly Parton crop top blowing pot vapors into her tiddies, please tag me. Im curious how many of those people actually took video.

"You need to clean your house! There is no excuse for it to be like this!"

I literally had a baby 7 weeks ago. She sleeps though the night and refuses to nap for more than 5 minutes at a time in the day. And when I lay her down away, she cries nonstop. I can't use cleaning solutions while I hold her.

"Well then, WHY DON'T YOU ASK FOR HELP?! I've told you multiple fucking times that I'd help you, all you have to do is ask!"

Ok, then. Can you watch her for me while I clean?

"Not today. I worked all day and I have a nail appointment."

The next day:

Can you watch her for me?

"No! I have a date tonight!"

Two days later:

Can you watch her tonight?

"No!! I have hair appointment!"

Three days later:

Can you watch her?

"NO! I'm going out to eat!"

Four days later:

Can you please watch her for me? You can sit on my couch and hold her. That's all I'm asking!

"FINE!"

Ten minutes after sitting down with the baby:

"How long is this going to take? I need to be to bed early tomorrow."

Just fucking go.

Another year gone, with time life gets worse. Let's freeze it, I might kill myself first. I could be dead by the end of this verse. Gotta learn to stick around even though it hurts. New years resolution is to stop time. I know it's impossible but this resolutions mine. No one else sticks to theirs but at least I'll try. What's your resolution? Tell me your lie.