For years,I tried to be be Hardcore Stoic.

Come the storm, I'd stand like a statue against the thunder and lightning...But I couldn't control my emotions so that was bullshit.

In 2021, I almost died, I survived, regrouped and begin trying to implement it in my life...Still I would get mad, sad or feel guilty more often than not.

Finally, I get to Yucatan and having more time to wonder and ponder it all seemed to click better.

Because we all KNOW how we're supposed to behave in the face of stress, but most of us have a hard time doing it.

Plus it's easy to say that you're something till you've actually been tested right?

This week was my test.

It was technically a TERRIBLE week:

My Beautiful Baby Pup Lily passed away on Tuesday.

But I also understood she was 17 years old, and had been loved and spoiled her entire life, she was happy and healthy till the day her little heart stopped.

Then a day later, a $70,000 Loan that was supposed to start in 3 years, got pulled which meant I have to start paying for it next month.

But fuck it...I'll have less to work with, but still happy to have enough to finish what I'm working on.

So it slows me down, but it won't kill me...Shrugged that off.

Then yesterday, my Sister, who is my last real family member, found out she not only has cancer in her Stomach, but it's spread to her Liver.

I'm saddened by that of course, but my sister, is quadrupled vaxxed, has lived a stressful life and never took her health seriously till the wolf was at the door.

Talking to her, she calmly already has accepted she's going to die, she doesn't want to fast, look into any other treatments, only wants what Kaiser is going to offer, which will be just fucking pills and more fucking pills.

She doesn't want to get away from the people who makes her sad or mad daily, only adding to her stress, which in turn will make her sicker sooner.

I love my sister, but nothing I can do when she won't make any effort.

So this week technically was awful, but I feel NO sadness.

So I highly suggest you all look at Stoicism Videos on YT because when the emergencies come you don't want to be stressed, scared or be mentally breaking down...Your bad reaction to your problems usually just makes them worse.

It's sad that in order to get by, you have to be Mentally Jaded...But it's helped me immensely, not that I'm pretending I'm a well adjusted nice Noodles.

I'm still pretty terrible...But my stress, anger and emotions are waaaaaaaaay down as compared to what I used to be...So that's actually a great thing.