I finally finished my second bachelors degree and received a bent diploma in the mail attesting to my efforts; not that it does anything in terms of increasing my pay or scope of practice, but it is still something and serves as a gateway to attaining more education. 

I was accepted to graduate school, but I deferred because the person I am legally tied to was not happy about this and is not onboard with being lumped with more childcare and household responsibilites. He projects toxic male masculinity and resentment, asserting boundaries left and right and hurling insults at me and my eldest child, then bristling at my rejection of his adolescent pawings. He is verbally abusive and mean.

I too have boundaries. He refuses to speak respectfully or lower the volume of his voice. I asked him to move out. He does not respect my boundaries and wants only to argue, so why is he so against leaving? Is it somehow preferable to stay and wrangle? 

When I brought my phone out with the insinuation that he was being recorded, he instantly became quiet and left the room. Moments later, he returned with a suitcase. 

It is telling that he cannot be respectful and use calm tones. He is more concerned with yelling at me and insulting me instead of working things out. He is so obsessed with the notion that I did him wrong for the past three years by being in school and failing my duties to cook and clean and take care of children; he would rather spew all his pent up resentments on me, failing to see that he is pushing me away and damaging any chance of reconcilliation. I've went so far as to acknowledge and even validate some of his grudges, but he keeps boomeranging back to them and plays them on a loop for me. Nevermind that he compromised my safety on more than one occasion; I told my clerical leader, my therapist, and his close friend what he did and he was even angrier that I told people.

I don't want to demonize or pathologize him. I really don't. But is he really that damaged and or unreasonable? It's more worth it to him to blow up the relationship than to admit any wrongdoing on his part and try to work things out? Foolish.

What a waste of time. Maybe divorce really is the healthiest approach; at least peace and quiet will be restored.