I'm sinking more and more into one of my sleep escapism-depressions again. Everything is so discouraging and seems so hopeless....

I can barely get myself to leave the bed lately. I lack any motivation and elan to do anything.
Perpetually trapped in task paralysis.

On workdays I push myself to still give 110% despite constantly asking "what am I doing it for its not like it's fruitful for me". Work drains me so much I can't find the energy to look for new jobs after hours.
And on Weekends I am still drained and barely drag myself out of bed after sleeping for 12hr, then I end up on the couch staring into my phone screen doomscrolling, because I can't get myself to sit on my PC and look for job offers because I know there are barely any that are suitable for me. But pursuing my hobbies makes me feel guilty because "I should spend this time on looking for jobs".
So I just sit there on the couch trapped by invisible chains of guilt and discourage while I'm hoping for the unlikely miracle that a Recruiter will find my job profile and it's the perfect match for both sides. And that the world politics wills suddenly be bearable again. But with the current leaders pfft finding the Amber-room again is more likely than having a secure and happy future.
Thats why I keep asking myself: What future am even doing it for?

less than 3 hours away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5Og6lKKHVE

This is so discourageing! Of all the job offers that I can find none are Jobs that I would actually wanna take if I actually did get the offer, because all require commuting over an hour or moving to I city that I would never wanna live in. This is just downright depressing! In the past 3 weeks I have not even seen one offer that was in my current location or even close by. I just want a new job not an entire life re-orientation!

It is just so sad that we live in such a career-driven double standard society where it is totally normalized that as a young person, you HAVE to be ready give up your ENTIRE LIFE and the place you picked to be your home ANYTIME to find a new job. But on the same time you are expected to be ready to settle and have a family from 30 onwards. And with a family you are often still required to move your entire family to a new place for a new job and it's totally normalized!

And overall economy is just shit and the field I work in is not doing well despite the fact that it was flourishing during the pandemic.

I blame everything on Merz at this point because I need a scapegoat to vent my anger!

Well Happy Birthday to me. Let's see what a shitty one it will be once I have dragged my ass to work in a few hours. Not looking forward to working tomorrow...
I started to hate it there. I wish I could just quit immediately. But I need to find something new first. And with the current economy in Germany it can take up to a year to find a new job even with a degree in science.
Guess it's obvious what's my wish when blowing out candles today.

You thought Disney buying Fox was bad? The fact that Netflix is now big and rich enough to buy Warner Bros. signals the death of movie theaters. Some of you might see this as a good thing, but this potentially spells the destruction of movies as we know them.

The thing about streaming media is it actually affects your perception of media. Think about why people still collect vinyl records. Yes, you could just stream something on Spotify, but it's not the same experience. You go from, "I'm gonna consciously pick out a record from my shelf and put it on and listen to some music" to "Let's just put on some randomized playlist for background noise."

It's the same thing with movies. It's a lot cheaper and more convenient to stream something than it is to go to the theater, but when you do that, you go from, "I'm gonna plan my day around seeing this movie, and I'm gonna sit there with my popcorn and watch it, and it's gonna be an event" to "Eh, let's just pick something on Netflix to kill a couple hours. We can read tweets at the same time." The convenience trivializes it, makes you less likely to pay attention, and less likely to remember the experience. When the movie ends, instead of reflecting on it and analyzing it, you just say, "Okay, that's over. Onto the next thing."

And this doesn't just affect how you watch a movie, it affects how movies are actually made. Companies like Netflix know you're only half paying attention when you stream a movie, and just putting on movies in the background while you do something else. That's why they dumb down movies on purpose (and that's not a conspiracy theory, there are leaked memos confirming this). They make dialog blunt and obvious, and they make the cinematography lazy, and their movies increasingly look the same because the color grading is optimized for viewing on tiny screens. And as streaming dominates, the dumbing down of our entertainment will only get worse.

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