#job #work
https://youtu.be/zJmzFBDyrcs

I don't know if it used really different before or if it's just a feeling, but when I think about vacation I always make a list of all the things I want to do that I don't have time or capacity during the work weeks.

Now I'm finally on vacation and the first thing I think about is just sleeping.
Sleeping... and not waking up.

14 cases to work through on a fucking Friday.
Dude, I'm so happy it's fucking Friday...

I don't want to go to work

Back to suffering, I mean, work.

Omfg. Fuck this disrespect from the management.
I do my work fucking well and then they go for the 3rd time fucking things up behind my back without consulting me.
Today apparently the plan was to dismantle a Google Meet equiped meeting room completely without my knowledge because apparenlty sound barriers needed to be installed. Then I get a message from one of the Google engineers saying the devices stopped responding and that they weren't aware of such actions taking place.
I'm done with this shit. Not only they expect me to do everything, they also don't wanna give me a pay rise + they keep doing the shit like this behind my back.
I really need to quit this shit as soon as possible but until I get a new job, that's not possible...

I'm fucking furious. If you idiots think you can do better than me, then you're welcome to assemble things again and I expect them to work. I won't engage in any of this shit facilities do anymore...

Putting in genuine effort feels like wasted effort sometimes. It's like people have this standard of movie-like perfection that just doesn't exist naturally, or without proper communication.

I feel humiliated and depressed, and on top of that I feel like the bad guy for having those emotions.

I feel like I've put genuine thought and effort into making this person feel important. I've stuck by and listened; really, genuinely listened.

All of that just to be left waiting, without any kind of heads up, flowers and gifts in hand, all dressed up and wanting to make it a special day.

Only to be stood up and told that no man has ever or will ever put any kind of real effort.

Was it not enough effort? Or am I just not a man?

I let myself be vulnerable enough to want to build a relationship again.

Even if it wasn't meant as a direct attack, I still feel disrespected.

I had no foul intentions. And my feeling were true.

I'm still processing how to feel and respond.

Idk, I'm just ranting and venting here so I can get it out of my system.

I didn't think I'd feel this hurt.

But oh well, love finds a way.

With someone, at some point in my life. Maybe someone else.

I'm going to keep putting in that effort, but for someone who appreciates the little gestures as much as the grand gestures.

I have my friends, I have my dog, and I have myself.

The rest will work itself out when it's time I guess.

#job #work #employees #employers #management #mismanagement

Nice and quiet today at work. Only 2 people in the office. My introvert self is very pleased with this. At least I can finish my coffee without disturbances or stupid small talk today.

That moment when your colleagues loosing all their shit because the network is down, you however are chill af because you can code peacefully offline since no one can annoy you via ms teams :D