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  • Win of the day: I discovered this gem of a band today. And I'm kinda addicted now. New focus/work background music for the next few weeks unlocked
    Win of the day: I discovered this gem of a band today. And I'm kinda addicted now. New focus/work background music for the next few weeks unlocked βœ…
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  • For a few months now, I’ve been trying to go to the gym three times a week, if possible, even though I often have to find the motivation, especially after work. :D

    Little by little, I’m starting to see progress in my body, especially when I look in the mirror in the morning and notice my improving natural posture and skin.

    It’s an extreme contrast to look back at my past when I was constantly (and at times, very) overweight since childhood.
    For a few months now, I’ve been trying to go to the gym three times a week, if possible, even though I often have to find the motivation, especially after work. :D Little by little, I’m starting to see progress in my body, especially when I look in the mirror in the morning and notice my improving natural posture and skin. It’s an extreme contrast to look back at my past when I was constantly (and at times, very) overweight since childhood.
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  • And just like that, the weekend is over.
    Time to struggle at work and drink insane amounts of coffee to overcome anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. :D :D :D

    Hellou!
    And just like that, the weekend is over. Time to struggle at work and drink insane amounts of coffee to overcome anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. :D :D :D Hellou!
    Haha
    1
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  • Have you ever had that nagging sensation that you're out of place among the wrong people? Lately, I've struggled to find any opportunities at the place where I live. It feels like months have gone by with only empty promises from work, leaving me burnt out and unable to enjoy even the simplest pleasures.

    I can't shake this profound loneliness I've experienced for weeks, and it's perplexing since I’m in a relationship. It's odd when you are being told that they are here for you and to try to respond to this as often as possible on the same level, even when your social battery is depleted, yet still feel so utterly isolated. The depths of my depression have made it hard to get out of bed for days, with tears flowing freely.

    Am I misguided in my expectations of what a relationship should be? When I realize that a house is on fire, for example, and I hear some calls for help, I try to rescue this person from it if possible and don’t avoid it because it might be too “hot.” I believe in stepping into the flames to support those I love, to hold their hand as we navigate the chaos together. Yet, here I am, feeling like I’m trapped in my own burning house while my partner stands outside, unsure whether to come in or watch from a distance.

    I’m left feeling so conflicted… I love my partner deeply, yet I also feel profoundly abandoned and overlooked. I want to believe that love can withstand these moments of despair, that we can face life’s struggles as a team. But the distance created by unspoken words and unmet expectations feels like an insurmountable wall between us.

    I often wonder if I’m asking for too much—if my desire for connection is unreasonable in a world that often seems too chaotic to handle. Shouldn't a partner be a safe haven, a source of comfort during the storm? Or am I just searching for validation in all the wrong places?

    The fear of losing that connection, of being vulnerable and showing my true self, holds me back. There are days I crave honesty, but what if that honesty exposes too much? What if it reveals the depths of my struggles, and in response, all I receive is pity instead of understanding?
    Have you ever had that nagging sensation that you're out of place among the wrong people? Lately, I've struggled to find any opportunities at the place where I live. It feels like months have gone by with only empty promises from work, leaving me burnt out and unable to enjoy even the simplest pleasures. I can't shake this profound loneliness I've experienced for weeks, and it's perplexing since I’m in a relationship. It's odd when you are being told that they are here for you and to try to respond to this as often as possible on the same level, even when your social battery is depleted, yet still feel so utterly isolated. The depths of my depression have made it hard to get out of bed for days, with tears flowing freely. Am I misguided in my expectations of what a relationship should be? When I realize that a house is on fire, for example, and I hear some calls for help, I try to rescue this person from it if possible and don’t avoid it because it might be too “hot.” I believe in stepping into the flames to support those I love, to hold their hand as we navigate the chaos together. Yet, here I am, feeling like I’m trapped in my own burning house while my partner stands outside, unsure whether to come in or watch from a distance. I’m left feeling so conflicted… I love my partner deeply, yet I also feel profoundly abandoned and overlooked. I want to believe that love can withstand these moments of despair, that we can face life’s struggles as a team. But the distance created by unspoken words and unmet expectations feels like an insurmountable wall between us. I often wonder if I’m asking for too much—if my desire for connection is unreasonable in a world that often seems too chaotic to handle. Shouldn't a partner be a safe haven, a source of comfort during the storm? Or am I just searching for validation in all the wrong places? The fear of losing that connection, of being vulnerable and showing my true self, holds me back. There are days I crave honesty, but what if that honesty exposes too much? What if it reveals the depths of my struggles, and in response, all I receive is pity instead of understanding?
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  • Happy Halloween everyone!
    What are you guys up to tonoight?

    I'm having a chill evening sewing some clothes for myself and working a bit on cosplays.

    And of course some witchy mischief when it's close to midnight
    Happy Halloween everyone! What are you guys up to tonoight? I'm having a chill evening sewing some clothes for myself and working a bit on cosplays. And of course some witchy mischief when it's close to midnight πŸ˜ˆπŸ§™‍♀️
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  • without food to eat .. nothing works
    without food to eat .. nothing works
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  • Russia is now the top military in the world, USA is in 2nd and 3rd is Israel, It can be worked out that 3rd is israel after it completly destroyed Irans air defences in a single day, Making Iran open to all near future attacks by basically everyone now.
    https://youtu.be/fMXK36HP504?si=nM0Zhhx-VaIuF7i4
    Russia is now the top military in the world, USA is in 2nd and 3rd is Israel, It can be worked out that 3rd is israel after it completly destroyed Irans air defences in a single day, Making Iran open to all near future attacks by basically everyone now. https://youtu.be/fMXK36HP504?si=nM0Zhhx-VaIuF7i4
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  • I’m so happy, been working on it since 2019 and my new album “Teratophilia” of my band “Jupiter’s Thunder comes out today!

    Just in time for Halloween!
    The only time I’m normal don’t be scared. It’s only ART!

    Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora ect… for use on all social media too! I’d be honored if u would use it on any of your posts! πŸŒͺ

    LinkTree.com/XZanthiaMUSIC
    I’m so happy, been working on it since 2019 and my new album “Teratophilia” of my band “Jupiter’s Thunder comes out today! Just in time for Halloween! The only time I’m normal πŸ’€πŸ˜ don’t be scared. It’s only ART!🎢 Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora ect… for use on all social media too! I’d be honored if u would use it on any of your posts! πŸŽ΅πŸŒΉπŸ’€πŸ¦ΎπŸŒͺ🎢 LinkTree.com/XZanthiaMUSIC
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  • I do all the work, I am present at the opening ceremony and everyone else takes the credit for what was done but I get none. And what do I get in return? Not a single mention, not one second of appreciation, not even a thank you. All that bragging about how much work you did when you didn't move a muscle sure must feel nice. And then you expect ME to hop in when problems arise? No, fuck this.
    Thank you, corporate America for treating me with respect.
    I do all the work, I am present at the opening ceremony and everyone else takes the credit for what was done but I get none. And what do I get in return? Not a single mention, not one second of appreciation, not even a thank you. All that bragging about how much work you did when you didn't move a muscle sure must feel nice. And then you expect ME to hop in when problems arise? No, fuck this. Thank you, corporate America for treating me with respect.
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  • Can't wait to get this going ! Will make the commute to work that much quicker !
    Can't wait to get this going ! Will make the commute to work that much quicker !
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