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  • Been an insane past few weeks,battleing on/off being sick as it warms up here,potentially going to a industrial doom metal concert but not sure yet,there was a Doom metal brunch event I was going to the day before yesterday but just was too work out from the week,still working on music and the per usual artsy things,seeing the Psycho Killer film with my best friend tommarrow,very excited....
    Been an insane past few weeks,battleing on/off being sick as it warms up here,potentially going to a industrial doom metal concert but not sure yet,there was a Doom metal brunch event I was going to the day before yesterday but just was too work out from the week,still working on music and the per usual artsy things,seeing the Psycho Killer film with my best friend tommarrow,very excited....
    Dark Love
    1
    0 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 306 Views
  • I feel better now that I'm back working into the night. I hate getting up early and this schedule suits me just fine. Too bad nary a soul is active here anymore this late...or ever. I'm getting hammered and I'll just have to harass myself.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PicH3ynjpRI
    I feel better now that I'm back working into the night. I hate getting up early and this schedule suits me just fine. Too bad nary a soul is active here anymore this late...or ever. I'm getting hammered and I'll just have to harass myself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PicH3ynjpRI
    0 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 365 Views
  • Perhaps there are others here who also work in the IT sector and/or have strong connections to the topic:

    Currently, I am finding it increasingly difficult to continue working in my field, but in general and not explicitly related to my workplace.
    Professionally, I deal with the topic of AI on a daily basis, but also to such an extent that issues such as professional recognition and even promotions depend on excessive use.
    AI undoubtedly has its (sometimes really good) uses. Nevertheless, the ethics of its application on the current global scale seem extremely difficult to me.
    So difficult that I don't know if I want to remain in this profession with a clear conscience, because I am no longer an IT consultant or developer, but rather feel like an AI coordinator whose job it is to mediate cleanly between humans and machines.
    I am currently observing how jobs are increasingly being outsourced to AI. Either actively, by no longer advertising the positions, or passively, by dismissing everything that can be replaced via personnel interviews with seemingly flimsy justifications (you can always find a way to get rid of someone Unwanted).
    And global experience shows how wonderful this outsourcing of work is: work becomes less valuable, company owners pocket the dividends, and the social divide grows ever wider.

    I chose this profession to solve problems and help people, to specialize in consulting and service, to actively help people, to identify challenges that I am familiar with, and to support them. Even when the day was long and difficult, I could go home with a clear conscience. Because when the problem was solved, my customers were grateful and happy—and so was I, because I was able to help someone.
    Today, I have become part of the problem. I no longer help to support people, but to replace them—and I am just waiting to be replaced myself.
    I used to have the desire to continue my education in my field, to live my life and to learn. Now I no longer know why I should.

    The future and the existence I had once envisioned, the “healthy world,” are no longer there.
    And in the evenings, when darkness descends, I can hardly sleep. With my eyes closed, I lie awake, feeling paralyzed, as if my thoughts are constantly running into a wall. I don't dare talk about it with those around me because I only see myself as a burden on the world. I think no one needs my problems—everyone is struggling with their own, and I am just another burden, another eyesore in an already fragile world.
    How can I still represent the hope and confidence of a world that is dying, when I am a correspondent of its murder?
    Perhaps there are others here who also work in the IT sector and/or have strong connections to the topic: Currently, I am finding it increasingly difficult to continue working in my field, but in general and not explicitly related to my workplace. Professionally, I deal with the topic of AI on a daily basis, but also to such an extent that issues such as professional recognition and even promotions depend on excessive use. AI undoubtedly has its (sometimes really good) uses. Nevertheless, the ethics of its application on the current global scale seem extremely difficult to me. So difficult that I don't know if I want to remain in this profession with a clear conscience, because I am no longer an IT consultant or developer, but rather feel like an AI coordinator whose job it is to mediate cleanly between humans and machines. I am currently observing how jobs are increasingly being outsourced to AI. Either actively, by no longer advertising the positions, or passively, by dismissing everything that can be replaced via personnel interviews with seemingly flimsy justifications (you can always find a way to get rid of someone Unwanted). And global experience shows how wonderful this outsourcing of work is: work becomes less valuable, company owners pocket the dividends, and the social divide grows ever wider. I chose this profession to solve problems and help people, to specialize in consulting and service, to actively help people, to identify challenges that I am familiar with, and to support them. Even when the day was long and difficult, I could go home with a clear conscience. Because when the problem was solved, my customers were grateful and happy—and so was I, because I was able to help someone. Today, I have become part of the problem. I no longer help to support people, but to replace them—and I am just waiting to be replaced myself. I used to have the desire to continue my education in my field, to live my life and to learn. Now I no longer know why I should. The future and the existence I had once envisioned, the “healthy world,” are no longer there. And in the evenings, when darkness descends, I can hardly sleep. With my eyes closed, I lie awake, feeling paralyzed, as if my thoughts are constantly running into a wall. I don't dare talk about it with those around me because I only see myself as a burden on the world. I think no one needs my problems—everyone is struggling with their own, and I am just another burden, another eyesore in an already fragile world. How can I still represent the hope and confidence of a world that is dying, when I am a correspondent of its murder?
    Goth Vibes
    1
    0 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 1K Views
  • My work here is done

    Enjoy

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rojtv3hPrXE
    My work here is done Enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rojtv3hPrXE
    0 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 371 Views
  • I just had a meltdown in the lab...because I'm burned and spent by this shit. This company has burned me completely and I'm just a walking pile of ash. Every passing day I wish more and more that I was one of the people that were layed off or that I would have an accident break and ankle or so and get a sick leave for a few weeks. Just to catch a breath and be an unexpected gap on the personal.
    It's not the stress that's getting me I actually don't think the workload is overwhelming at the moment it's average and manageable. It's the lack of pay and appreciation that bothers me. I came on Saturdays I came on Sundays gave 110% to make them see that I am worth getting the same pay as the others and instead I get a warm sweaty handshake and a chocolate I can't even eat.
    And I'm still trying to give a 110 percent that I don't even have in me anymore why because of revenge because I want it to hurt heavily when I leave and I want to see them in false security about my loyalty. But I'm not even sure that's worth it...
    At this point I just wish for a new job opportunity and hope the company goes bankrupt so that I can get social support. I wouldn't get that for a few months if I resigned without a new job.
    I just had a meltdown in the lab...because I'm burned and spent by this shit. This company has burned me completely and I'm just a walking pile of ash. Every passing day I wish more and more that I was one of the people that were layed off or that I would have an accident break and ankle or so and get a sick leave for a few weeks. Just to catch a breath and be an unexpected gap on the personal. It's not the stress that's getting me I actually don't think the workload is overwhelming at the moment it's average and manageable. It's the lack of pay and appreciation that bothers me. I came on Saturdays I came on Sundays gave 110% to make them see that I am worth getting the same pay as the others and instead I get a warm sweaty handshake and a chocolate I can't even eat. And I'm still trying to give a 110 percent that I don't even have in me anymore why because of revenge because I want it to hurt heavily when I leave and I want to see them in false security about my loyalty. But I'm not even sure that's worth it... At this point I just wish for a new job opportunity and hope the company goes bankrupt so that I can get social support. I wouldn't get that for a few months if I resigned without a new job.
    0 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 717 Views
  • My legs are so sore. Feels great and horrible. The leg exercises and cardio after a budy day at work added up. Here i am still on my feet at dave and busters.
    My legs are so sore. Feels great and horrible. The leg exercises and cardio after a budy day at work added up. Here i am still on my feet at dave and busters.
    Dark Love
    1
    0 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 438 Views
  • I'm having an extremely shitty day. days of work for the bin because the detection failed. This project is being such a bitch. Great.. running on overtime again and for what it's not even giving me good results. I am so pissed by this. I can forget about my Hobbies and sports again. I'll just go to bed what's the point of having a life anyway. I just hate that this stupid company has such a major impact on my private life. More and more I envy the people who were laid off. Because they don't have to carry the burden of our leadership's incompetence anymore.
    I'm having an extremely shitty day. days of work for the bin because the detection failed. This project is being such a bitch. Great.. running on overtime again and for what it's not even giving me good results. I am so pissed by this. I can forget about my Hobbies and sports again. I'll just go to bed what's the point of having a life anyway. I just hate that this stupid company has such a major impact on my private life. More and more I envy the people who were laid off. Because they don't have to carry the burden of our leadership's incompetence anymore.
    Spooky Feels
    1
    0 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 927 Views
  • 3h of sleep...and back to work... I feel like ass
    3h of sleep...and back to work... I feel like ass☠️
    Goth Vibes
    Rotten Laughs
    2
    5 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 400 Views
  • ADHD Time Blindness hit so hard, it's now 3:30 am and I have to be at work ealry tomorrow. I havent even showered yet & I don't really wanna go to bet because I don't want Monday to come. :(

    Oh well at least I found a few job offers barely worth applying to and got a hint of motivation to get that cover letter for some applications drafted. Now I just need to prepare a translation and do some phrase polishing and individual adaptions to the specific offers. Wasted my entire sunday on this so at least I feel less like a faliure now. Small victories...
    ADHD Time Blindness hit so hard, it's now 3:30 am and I have to be at work ealry tomorrow. I havent even showered yet & I don't really wanna go to bet because I don't want Monday to come. :( Oh well at least I found a few job offers barely worth applying to and got a hint of motivation to get that cover letter for some applications drafted. Now I just need to prepare a translation and do some phrase polishing and individual adaptions to the specific offers. Wasted my entire sunday on this so at least I feel less like a faliure now. Small victories...
    Goth Vibes
    1
    2 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 674 Views
  • I'm sinking more and more into one of my sleep escapism-depressions again. Everything is so discouraging and seems so hopeless....

    I can barely get myself to leave the bed lately. I lack any motivation and elan to do anything.
    Perpetually trapped in task paralysis.

    On workdays I push myself to still give 110% despite constantly asking "what am I doing it for its not like it's fruitful for me". Work drains me so much I can't find the energy to look for new jobs after hours.
    And on Weekends I am still drained and barely drag myself out of bed after sleeping for 12hr, then I end up on the couch staring into my phone screen doomscrolling, because I can't get myself to sit on my PC and look for job offers because I know there are barely any that are suitable for me. But pursuing my hobbies makes me feel guilty because "I should spend this time on looking for jobs".
    So I just sit there on the couch trapped by invisible chains of guilt and discourage while I'm hoping for the unlikely miracle that a Recruiter will find my job profile and it's the perfect match for both sides. And that the world politics wills suddenly be bearable again. But with the current leaders pfft finding the Amber-room again is more likely than having a secure and happy future.
    Thats why I keep asking myself: What future am even doing it for?
    I'm sinking more and more into one of my sleep escapism-depressions again. Everything is so discouraging and seems so hopeless.... I can barely get myself to leave the bed lately. I lack any motivation and elan to do anything. Perpetually trapped in task paralysis. On workdays I push myself to still give 110% despite constantly asking "what am I doing it for its not like it's fruitful for me". Work drains me so much I can't find the energy to look for new jobs after hours. And on Weekends I am still drained and barely drag myself out of bed after sleeping for 12hr, then I end up on the couch staring into my phone screen doomscrolling, because I can't get myself to sit on my PC and look for job offers because I know there are barely any that are suitable for me. But pursuing my hobbies makes me feel guilty because "I should spend this time on looking for jobs". So I just sit there on the couch trapped by invisible chains of guilt and discourage while I'm hoping for the unlikely miracle that a Recruiter will find my job profile and it's the perfect match for both sides. And that the world politics wills suddenly be bearable again. But with the current leaders pfft finding the Amber-room again is more likely than having a secure and happy future. Thats why I keep asking myself: What future am even doing it for?
    Dark Love
    1
    2 Yorumlar 0 hisse senetleri 1K Views
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