Today really was a Terrible day. Not only did I work longer than it is legal (again). I also wasn't very focussed and did a lot of mistakes in my lab work...I don't think a blanket and c-drama will fix this day..-

I really need to dump & vent some emotions rn...humor me...
The fact that I am still very moody and don't really feel like talking to people one on one kinda contriubted to this day being shitty as lab work forces me to interact with my colleauges more than documentation. and I really don't feel like talking lately.
It's probably hard to get....While I do have a lot of things troubling me and I do need to get them off my chest, I dont have the energy nor the desire to open a 1 on 1 converstaion about it, and even less desire to talk about the world and smalltalk.
It's not like there are no people I could go to if I needed talking. There are. And I know I can go to them anytime. I just don't want to. Bc I don't want to have any interactive converstaions at the moment, if not necessary. Then I'd rahter passively dump it somewhere like here and get if off my chest. It is often not about wanting advice or needing re-assurance. It is mostly just wanting it out...
Just posting it in an anyways dead place gives me the freedom to decide on my own if and when I get advice or others opinion on it. If I need to I'll read comments, If I dont wan't to I just don't.
Is that weird??
I think I am like this because I have always been the Listeing and giving advice friend and not the sharing and wanting advice one.
I'm just used to being that way and found my ways to vent emotions...

Available on all streaming platforms—go take a listen and let me know your favorite track!
https://youtu.be/QCSxIqsXe30

XZanthia .com
#hellpop #creaturecosplay #monstercosplay #monstercore #creaturecore #dommymommy #creepygirl #creepycosplay #clowncore #creepyart #emo #gothchick #pastelgoth #goth #gothic

Let's test in production, they said, it will be fun, they said.

Today is Finnish independence day so the best time of the year to get drunk. Hyvää itsenäisyyspäivää kaikille!!!! :D :D :D

Showed up at the supposedly "company party" and those Irish people are even late and irresponsible at those.
Well I guess I will be watching documentaries and relax before I go to work tomorrow again. :)

Aaand another worry to keep my anxiety busy...
Not sure if I still have a future in the company im currently employed at. On one hand the leadership team is dropping hints that I will get a more important role next year. Is it a Promotion or at least a raise incoming? and on the other hand there are rumors that the company will be sold and is starting to collapse on it's own...
I don't know what to believe anymore I wish the LT were more transparent on the future of the company. Feels like they just tell me lies so I don't leave now...not to Brag but my Departement is fucked if i didn't pull so much weight. They are lucky I rarely get the flu

So my camera is apparently due to be delivered to my home address in the next 2-3 work days. :D :D :D :D Can't wait. At least I will have something productive to do again others than hang out with idiots at work so looking forward to it. :)

Just got caught up on Chainsaw Man. This arc is kinda trash and lacks coherence.

Oh dear, the next few days will probably require a lot of masking...
There are so many project presentations coming up that I have to lead, and tomorrow we have a big company event where it was mentioned that I'll be photographed more often, as a showpiece so to speak.
On the one hand, I see the whole thing as an opportunity to consolidate certain positions for myself, but on the other hand, I'm being pushed hard into the center of attention, which I don't really like.

Well, now it's time to make myself 'pretty' so that I don't look quite so shitty tomorrow.
Hopefully I can sleep despite the intense anxiety...

Available on all streaming platforms.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ XZanthia.com
https://open.spotify.com/track/2XXCnn1synzNgzXt4OUX9j?si=601825d03ad6477b