Lately, When I express my genuine thoughts and concerns, it feels like a form of punishment.

This happens both at work, in meetings where input is supposedly valued, and in my personal life. My attempts to voice a concern or a different perspective are often dismissed as pessimism, exaggeration, or even egomania. It seems I am being penalized simply for having an opinion and for caring enough to be concerned.

Increasingly, I feel that I am being passively silenced—not with a direct command, but with subtle cues and reactions that make thinking feel like a forbidden act. I am being reduced to a sounding board, a wall for others to shout at, with no expectation of a reciprocal conversation. My role is not to contribute, but to absorb.

And then, people wonder. They wonder why I am burning out, why my energy and creativity have evaporated, why my motivation has dwindled to nothing. They don't see the cumulative weight of being silenced.
I notice that the situation is gradually affecting my body. I currently only sleep with a tight chest and painful breathing, and I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing.

Urrrghhh im sooo stuuuupiiiiddd!!! And so angry at myself!!!!
I successfully delayed my chances to FINALLY get a blood coagulation test and thus the chance be able to start the treatment that I desperately need for months (but can't get until we know my blood coagulating factor) for another week because I took the wrong painkillers yesterday I usually take paracetamol but I couldn't find it so I took a mixed preparate that contains para and aspirin. Aspirin has a blood thinning effect that lasts for 4-8 days. I just realized this as I was about to call my doctor to see if we can finally get my blood tested. Now I have to wait another week until we can draw blood for the testing. Which will then take another week to receive the results (at least, prolly more) and that delays my therapy even more. My body is already suffering notably from the severe deficiency that needs treatment. I am so angry at myself why did I not think? I work in pharma industry I KNEW of this effect...

So the saints finally won another game.

i askagain

Gonna happen….probably wait until after Christmas….

Gen X here. The most important and crucial difference from my time compared to today: We knew how to relax and have a good time. We certainly didn't let politicians make us fight their battle for them. Divide and conquer has always been the mantra, and if you youngbloods think anyone of those in Washington are making things difficult for those with different viewpoints with your best interest in mind, you're living in a fantasy world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9l5WZ774Sg

So I got talked to at work again,today. Because I said some stuff about my neighbors dog as well as a black metal artist I enjoy listening to,so i guss I can't even have freedom of speech at my own job.....sad. Might be switching departments but that probably won't help....have to see what happens,the first time was even more dumb...it was over the fact I had a colonoscopy appointment and people are asking about it,I kept on saying surgery because I get confused and info mixed up sometimes. So when I mentioned the correct reason I was met with extreme immature reactions,we'll see how much longer I'm at the Front End before switching departments.