Phew, I'm exhausted...
I'm still feeling the after-effects of rearranging and tidying up my apartment, and today felt like the longest Monday in months...;
I started very early and worked the maximum amount of overtime allowed, then quickly ran to the post office at the last minute to take care of some private stuff (because digitization is a foreign concept in my country) and helped my neighbors with some minor IT issues (but that's okay, they're friendly and lovely people and I'm happy to help them).
Now the last mission of the day is not to fall into bed too early, even though my pillow is winking at me really seductively :D

Columbus Day is Monday. For Italian Americans, it's another excuse to get drunk. For the far-left, it's another excuse to remind the country of the atrocities against Native Americans. For thousands of government employees, a day off and a trip to the unemployment line. Happy holidays!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eZqkaP37po

Unfortunatelly my Toby has a agressive tumor on his leg... monday will to more exames to see if the tumor has already spread through his body... no easy decions... to operate his leg he has to do chemotherapy and hope that the cancer reduces... but only if the results of analisys show tha the cancer will be affected by chemo.. if not... we have 2 choices... amputate the leg... or leavit... and start threating him with medicine to ease the pain that he migth have... and give him tehe best life quality possible.. my heart his twice broken... broken because i will miss him ... and broken because he came to us some months affer my dad passed away with cancer... and he became my mothers companion...and it will devastating for her... not the passing... but the absence of his presence... because for 8 years he followed her everywhere.. and everywhere she looks... she will be reminded off him.. i will too.. sorry for venting... but it's been couple rough days....

monday another trip to the hospital... gonna ask for a MRI for my back

My brother graduates from police academy tomorrow. Took off work for it and saturday for his party we're throwing. Also off sunday and monday. 4 day mini staycation baby.

I'm at the verge of crying every day...Wednesdays and Thursdays are always the hardest work days for me currently. I practically have to drag myself to work everyday and it's hardest on these days.
Next Monday I have a 1:1 with my boss...I hope I can address the issues. Although I would prefer to talk to another person First to get their opinion before taking to my boss. I think that would be more strategic but I will not have a meeting with them until next Wednesday. And I don't think I can wait this long...the longer leave this unresolved the more anxiety I'm developing about this. It's such a dilemma: be strategic and tall to the righ person first, but deal with my fears and anxiety a week longer or just talk to my boss directly without having that other insight. I feel so burdened by it. And no one can really help me except those 2 supervisors. So I have to carry this until they have one for me.
I can barely focus on the little work I do have and that makes my anxiety even worse because I feel even more useless and like I'm not performing well that makes and my fears that they are planning to let me go even worse...

Ok shout-out to Berenika for releasing this funky new single that saved my Monday! This energetic tune brought back my vigor.
Bye bye post vacation blues. HELLo party mood!
This will probably be my get ready in the morning song for the rest of this month
https://youtu.be/JY9D2fEh-K0?list=RDJY9D2fEh-K0