DNI Tulsi Gabbard said during her address to TPUSA, the EU and NATO are trying to drag us into a war with Russia, and that Deep Staters are OBSTRUCTING peace negotiations "They do so to pull the US military into a conflict with Russia, which is ultimately what the EU and NATO want. We CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN." "Every time they make progress, move closer to that hope for peace - the war mongers and deep state step up and do everything they can to stop them!" "The Deep State, Intel Community, leak it to their friends in the Mainstream Propaganda Media to try to spread a false narrative." "They foment fear and hysteria as a way to justify the continuing of the war, to undermine President Trump's efforts towards peace." "We have to see clearly what's happening before our very eyes - and stand UNITED in this cause for peace."

I'm on the verge of crying. I'm literally panicking. Another health issue came up that needs immediate medical procedure. This that gives me the worst anxiety on multiple levels...if I'm unlucky it will not only make me really ugly and I struggle with dismorphia, but also also what I fear most, it will delay my treatment yet again... possibly for several weeks. I finally got a fixed appointment for getting the blood drawn for testing first thing but now I fear the new issue can't wait and needs to be fixed immediately there is akute pain....they probably can't test my blood if there is residual narcotics and painkillers on my system.... Like my anxiety was not already bad since yesterday for other reasons. Now this...I'm really panicking right now. Why is it all breaking at once?? Ok I need to breathe and wait se how bad the pain gets today prepare for being incapacitated by meds while I still can and if I get worse I go to the doctor tomorrow first thing. Good thing I live right next door. Maybe it just got painful because I was feeling the swelling I know I shouldn't drag it out and fix acute things immediately. But the following issues of delayed treatment will be detrimental too possibly reshaping my future entirely.

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Here comes paranoia knocking on my door, Here comes fear, entering in to explore. Here comes decay, following slow and grim, Next is death, walking hand in hand with him. An angel approaches, a light so bright, "Walk to the light," is it another life, or eternal night? Decaying like a mushroom, as time takes its toll, Bodies lifted to heaven, ascending to a higher role.

Wow what a shitty End for a vacation. Successfully ruined another persons day again just by trying to open up and share my fears and emotions in hopes to clear my anxiety that I had since yesterday... But noo triggered somewhat of a fight and anxiety for the other side too. Aaaaaand thats why I usually bottle things up. When I talk about it I piss people off or make them sad and that worsens my anxiety. Even when I thought hard about how I say it and what I say, it always goes down the wrong pipe and ends with the worst outcome... Why do I even try again ana again it always ends in disappointment: either I'm a bad trigger or I'm as important as fucking chairs. After all im only good for listening not for talking about feelings. I just muck things up... I feel like such a human failure...

In shadows deep, where darkness dwells, Cruelty smiles, negativity tells. Demons trail, a haunting plight, Trying to halt my inner light. Everywhere, their presence sneers, In screens and faces, fueling fears. Monsters lurk, in corners creep, Laughing softly, beneath my sleep. Yet, I fight, with courage bright, Seeking solace, in endless night. I call to God, with fervent plea, Chase them back to hell, and set me free. A God-fearing soul, I yearn to find, Peace in heart, and peace in mind.

So this is too funny...I wake up around 6 to work out,slept in today. I was listening to this album and the creepy awsome into started playing,a wolf howls in the distance and my neighbors dumb dog is all "W00f ! W00f ! W0000f!" It fears the darkness !!!! Guess I know what songs I'm adding to my playlist,here is the album for all you cool cats. Astarte-Doomed Dark Years (2017) Black Metal. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O1fNcFBrTO4&list=RDO1fNcFBrTO4&start_radio=1&t=2289s&pp=ygUHYXN0YXJ0ZaAHAQ%3D%3D

I'm at the verge of crying every day...Wednesdays and Thursdays are always the hardest work days for me currently. I practically have to drag myself to work everyday and it's hardest on these days. Next Monday I have a 1:1 with my boss...I hope I can address the issues. Although I would prefer to talk to another person First to get their opinion before taking to my boss. I think that would be more strategic but I will not have a meeting with them until next Wednesday. And I don't think I can wait this long...the longer leave this unresolved the more anxiety I'm developing about this. It's such a dilemma: be strategic and tall to the righ person first, but deal with my fears and anxiety a week longer or just talk to my boss directly without having that other insight. I feel so burdened by it. And no one can really help me except those 2 supervisors. So I have to carry this until they have one for me. I can barely focus on the little work I do have and that makes my anxiety even worse because I feel even more useless and like I'm not performing well that makes and my fears that they are planning to let me go even worse...

Will A.I. affect your job or career? Is Universal Income a real fear? Is it time to buy goats and chickens yet?

The Pulse That Outlives Me Since I was small, my hands have itched for the weight of something new, the warm breath of an idea still wet from birth. While others chased nights strung with music and lights, I chased the hum beneath my ribs— that low, holy vibration that says: Make. Make. Make. I am not afraid of death— only of silence, of the stillness that comes when the last word dries, when the last color fades from my palette. Some people fear missing the party. I fear missing the next perfect shiver of creation, the one that seizes my spine like lightning, the one that says: Here. This is yours. Make it real before it slips away forever. Even as a child, I knew my bones would be dust one day. But a poem— a song, a shadow on film, a brushstroke on canvas— that could outlive me. That could keep my voice whispering in the ears of strangers long after my name is forgotten. So I make. I bleed ink. I sweat pigment. I dream in shapes and sounds. Every piece is a fragment of the monument I am building to outlast my pulse. And when I am gone, let them find my works scattered like constellations— each one a flare I sent into the dark, each one still burning, still warm, still breathing my name. https://www.blogger.com/u/7/blog/post/edit/7919007891465025240/49843031849199149