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Lately, I've been noticing again how I'm becoming emotionally hardened and how everything feels surreal and intangible. However, it's currently at a level of severity that I last felt 7-8 years ago, when I was emotionally dead and constantly wearing a mask that was stuck on.

I wake up at night with my head in chaos and wonder if I can even comprehend or understand the right answers at the moment.

Sometimes I just lie there and stare into the darkness, as if it owes me some kind of answer. But it remains silent. Just like everything else. It feels more like I'm just running through memories of myself.

It's strange... I'm still functioning. I get up, talk to people, do things, smile at the right moments. From the outside, it probably looks normal. Maybe even stable. But inside, it feels like I'm playing a role whose lines I learned by heart long ago, without even knowing why I'm on this stage in the first place.

Drink your coffee. Read your books. It’s chaos out there. Let the pages ground you. Find calm amid the storm.

"Barack Hussein Obama was the first Black President, a community organizer, one term Senator from Illinois, and one of the most divisive political figures in American History. As President, he passed the highly ineffective 'Unaffordable' Care Act, resulting in his party losing control of both Houses of Congress, and the Election of the largest House Republican majority since 1946. He presided over a stagnánt Economy, approved the terrible Iran Nuclear Deal, and signed the one-sided Paris Climate Accords, both of which were later terminated by President Donald J. Trump.

“Under Obama, the ISIS Caliphate spread across the Middle East, Libya collapsed into chaos, and Rússia invaded and took Crimea, in Ukraine. He crippled small businesses with crushing regulation and environmental red tape, devastated American coal miners, and weaponized the IRS and Federal bureáucracies against his political opponents. Obama also spied on the 2016 Presidential Campaign of Donald J. Trump, and presided over the creation of the Russia, Russia, Russia Hoax, the worst political scandal in American History. His handpicked successor, Hillary Rodham Clinton, would then lose the Presidency to Donald J. Trump.”

LOL???

✨ Get ready for a night of color, chaos, and creativity! ✨
Join us for the Xzanthia Free Art Gallery Shop GRAND OPENING happening on Saturday, 12/20 from 5PM – 9PM at 1626 49th St S., Gulfport, FL 🎨💥
Don’t miss the magic!
#Xzanthia #ArtGallery #GrandOpening #GulfportFL #ArtEvent #FreeEvent #SupportLocalArtists #AlternativeArt #EdgyArt #CreativeCommunity

#videogames #Vampire #VtMB #GamingCommunity #GamingLife #Masquerade #WorldofDarkness
https://gstylemag.com/2025/10/09/a-look-back-at-the-chaos-that-made-vampire-the-masquerade-bloodlines-a-cult-legend/

Embrace the Storm
I wrote a poem, which will become a future song, about my 15year partner PJ
♥️⬇️♥️
Embrace the Storm
by XZanthia
He doesn’t flinch when the lightning hits.
He never asked me to dim.
He just stood still
while the sky cracked open
and smiled
like it was beautiful.
He saw the fire in my chest
and didn’t reach for water.
He knew
I wasn’t dangerous
I was divine.
He don’t compete, he completes
He don’t crumble when the current heats
While boys bail out, he’s building rafts
While others fear, he laughs at collapse
I shook the room, he didn’t blink
I roared in rage, he made me think
He knows how to hold
without holding me back
and that’s how you carry
a queen’s heart intact
To walk beside a powerful woman
you don’t need chains
you need courage
Not armor, but honor
Not silence,
but space
He never caged the lioness
He never named me “too much”
He simply looked
and let me be
until I let him
see everything
Powerful presence, patient, precise
Protecting peace without a price
Fire-fed, focused, feeling full
He’s not afraid, I’m never dull
He’s got thunder in his spine
Steel in his silence
Grace in his gaze
and no trace of violence
HE NEVER RAN FROM MY RAGE!
HE NEVER NEEDED ME SMALL!
HE HELD MY CHAOS IN HIS HANDS
AND NEVER DROPPED ME
AT ALL!
Other men feared me
He faced me
Other men chased me
He stayed
When I shattered, he sharpened me
When I wept, he witnessed me
He didn’t want to fix the fire
He wanted to feel it with me
And maybe you think
this song’s about you…
Maybe you wish it could be
But only a rare one
gets written into fire like this.
Real ones rise when her voice shakes the walls
Real ones don’t shrink when the goddess calls
If she’s the storm, he’s the ground beneath
Still. Sure. Strong in belief.
This ain’t fiction, it’s a fact
You want a queen? Learn how to act
Not to conquer, not to own
But to honor her
like a throne
HE NEVER ASKED ME TO SHUT UP!
NEVER ASKED ME TO SHRINK!
HE TOOK MY FIRE
AND FED IT!!
I am the flame
And he holds me
I am the howl
And he hears me
I am the storm
But he never tried to stop the rain
He just stood
With open hands
And loves me
without fear.

I'm back brothers and sisters, some are thinking oh no and some are thinking oh yeah! Eirther way I'm back to mess up the feed, and bully the cry bullies! Time to add chaos and hurt feelings to the feed!