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I Always Forget I'm Not 21 Anymore

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1كيلو بايت

I was watching a video on how Ice Baths are good, so I decided to start with daily morning cold baths.

After watching my testicles shrink while I screamed like a young Japanese School Girl, I decided I'm not as tough to cold water as I remembered.

Then on the way to the store, I rode my electric bike and it felt so smoooooooooth:

So I decided to take the power off and pedel back to get some exercise.

The entire state here is flat like a pancake, there is no such thing as a mountain or large hills.

It's like Kansas Flat.

After 2 minutes, I could feel the latic acid burning, THERE goes my dream to win the Tour de France DAMNIT!  >=(

I felt like this dude:

Now if there's a Nap Competition or some sort of Donut Eating Contest I'm IN!

But if it involves Tuff Guy Stuff let me warm up, get my stretches in and rub some of that Ben Gay on my muscles.

Anyone else wonder why NO ONE ever told Ben:

"Hey buddy how about we call the product something else?  I don't feel this will be a good look for our company or my name isn't Jeffery Gaylord the III!"

Which is wild because I knew one kid back in the 70's named Gaylord and you can pretty much guess how his childhood went.

Why would his parents name him that???

"Tim what shall we call our baby if it's a boy?  Something that shines with masculinity and power?  

Gaylord you say???  

Hmmmmmm?  

Beautiful name that won't lead to teasing about his sexual orientation among cruel young children at all."

Kids latch on to something and it sticks.

I knew a  kid Tony J. XXXX in 3rd grade, by 5th grade the rumour was the J stood for "Joto" and oh maaaaan that shit lasted till he hit High School and moved.

That shit was kinda hilarious though.

It was the 80's we were pretty much Feral.

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