Sprawled
across my childhood bed,
he emanates 
quiet masculinity; 
sated cat 
seeming 
at rest. 

Fond but curious, 
testing 
mettle.

[Am I enough?]

Ordered disorder,
Queen Khaos 
I am, 
abounding 
with accomplishments 

undone.

Incapable of the straightlaced
self-
control, that ramrod
posture he struts
through life with.

And yet he drawls,
"Oh darlin',
you're gonna."

Self-
doubt threatens
to consume;
maternal poison.

Unfurled potentials
beckon, 
a daring invitation:

I could
be 

More--

The alarm blares, 
wrenching
out 
of the primordial void.

Wretched with consciouness,
subsumed by the binary;
corpsed reluctance, 

I lurch into the fray.

My apneic companion, 
oblivious,
saturates the bedsheets
with too much heat.