Nothing is worse for a highly intelligent and gifted person to be under-challenged and underwhelmed....

Today, I came home from work crying because I realised how underchallenged and boring my work currently is. My expertise is currently not being used because customer projects come in slow and don't get to the downstream processing/purification part (I'm a specialist for protein pruification). I don't get many other opportunities to show my skills and knowledge and only do some minor backup tasks like writing working instructions...Nothing about my work currenly feels rewaring and chellengeing. I am a scientist, I love the try and error and the challenge! I thrive in that. I literally work best with stress and being overloaded with work than with being underwhelmed...
On top of it I'm gettin really bad imposter syndrome because of not being able to show my expertise while my colleagues currenlty thrive and get ever opportunity to show their knowledge and expert fields. We got a new teamlead in march and so far I feel like I could not show off/prove my skille and knowledge to him while the others could. I feel like I'm standing in the shadows sometimes even being actively pushed back into them. Like a tool put in a shelf not neede for now collecting dust.
It's incredibly frustrating and deressing for me because I am a scientist by heart I love my profession...

Now my overthinking brain gets even to the point where I'm asking myself if they are boring me out on purpose, so I leave the company on my own accord and they don't have to fire me, because they can't without a reason....
I'm more and more thinking of actually looking for a different posititon... Maybe I'll apply for a pHD after all...

Urgh post vacation blues hit hard. Why has working become so boring?! meetings this morning were like...

I'll take fucking silly for 200
I'd also rather take working 12 hrs with aluminum for 200
Over a whiny girl kicking bitch

#jeopardybutitsurmentalstate #choosingwhatdestroysitthemost #:)

Britain: Digital ID and Credit scores:

When I was a little Jewlet I lived in Hong Kong for 7 years; looking back and visiting recently all I can say is China has its digital ID, and Credit score system working like clockwork a real functioning dictatorship. I look at the UK and get the feeling our transition into communism is gunna be messy, badly organised, over budget, delayed, canclled, delayed again, part way built and then signed off as complete.

I hate too do this to a beautiful time piece but needs must as the devil wants. In order to fix one clock, I need spair parts, even for someone with alot of time of their hands I do not have the skills to make parts from scratch and even the clocksmith told me if they were to make them from scratch it would cost up to $1000 to fix a clock I bough for $75. So the only other option is buy another broken down clock for its works and salvage the working parts. Whats left I'll keep aside and restore it when a clock works goes on sale on ebay which is rare these days. For the time being and in order for this pretty case not to go to waste I'll convert it with a modern Quartz movement and restore its mechanical works when I can get the parts to restore it; its also missing a pendulum which is also problem as mantle clock works are rearer than wall clock works and pendulums are matched to the works.

I am 6'2'', 175 pounds, working out (swimming, weights, Aikido, MMA), aged 53 (bday today) and my ugly fat female cousin told me that I gained weight which I shouldn't, as she persisted. My reaction towards this ugly fuck: