Haven't had whole lot of time to be on here. working like crazy past few days people REALLY freak out here and are like oh my god its snowing quick lets raid the co-op's...yeah been that busy. I guess as humans a few of us have evolved with no common sense whatsoever like my neighbor, i finally had it and went to the cops with my mom and had a great respectful conversation with an officer, i went out on my deck the night after and did a fake very loud cell phone call, acting like i was on the phone with the cops to freak out my neighbor, his dog is immensely stupid and barks literally at nothing, as i'm typing this now and his dog barked, its that dumb. he's been quiet for a bit now and i'm hoping it worked, really would suck to call them though but it might be necessary ,still want my neighbor to move out so someone of actual quality can live there...

Putting in genuine effort feels like wasted effort sometimes. It's like people have this standard of movie-like perfection that just doesn't exist naturally, or without proper communication.

I feel humiliated and depressed, and on top of that I feel like the bad guy for having those emotions.

I feel like I've put genuine thought and effort into making this person feel important. I've stuck by and listened; really, genuinely listened.

All of that just to be left waiting, without any kind of heads up, flowers and gifts in hand, all dressed up and wanting to make it a special day.

Only to be stood up and told that no man has ever or will ever put any kind of real effort.

Was it not enough effort? Or am I just not a man?

I let myself be vulnerable enough to want to build a relationship again.

Even if it wasn't meant as a direct attack, I still feel disrespected.

I had no foul intentions. And my feeling were true.

I'm still processing how to feel and respond.

Idk, I'm just ranting and venting here so I can get it out of my system.

I didn't think I'd feel this hurt.

But oh well, love finds a way.

With someone, at some point in my life. Maybe someone else.

I'm going to keep putting in that effort, but for someone who appreciates the little gestures as much as the grand gestures.

I have my friends, I have my dog, and I have myself.

The rest will work itself out when it's time I guess.

First day back at work after 2 Weeks vacation and I am greeted with my substitute not having done ANY of the work I had prepared for him...I I literally pre digested the project for him!

Ironically, when he went on vactation in october I had to take over this project for him and he hadn't even worked on it yet, nor had he prepared anything for handover... I had to gather all of the info on my own.
Then I was even so nice to not get revenge and still prepare handover materials for him and what does he do? Nothing. And he's so casual about it!

Literally lol

I'm logging off in 18 minutes. If the whole office burns down, I literally don't care until I'm back on the 6th of January, next year.
Time to get home soon and start packing the stuff prior to flying to Germany tomorrow morning.

This is literally how I feel like after I just found out that our "performance based culture" isn't that much a performance based culture and I will get nothing for literally building this place up on my own...I guess I'm being skipped on the next promotion too then.

Merry Christmas and whatnot. :D

This song is literally made for December misery and depression. :D :D :D

Wow seeing that clip of cardi b at the Kamala rally panicking because she couldn't read the teleprompter and fumbling hard till someone ran up a cell phone for her to read off of just shows how paid these celebs are to support Kamala. They have no reason to support her and they don't even know why they are.

https://youtu.be/6c_PtrV80GU?si=aMGQHZMZisPztfGd

I'm pretty sure manson had my room bugged because my gf literally said all this to me.

Well... I think the upcoming Amphi festival will be a funeral...
A funeral for my ‘kutte’ which is my first modified t-shirt ever, with which I literally started my entry into the cyber-goth scene (hard to believe that this was already 16 years ago).
But unfortunately I have noticed damage that is simply too ‘big’, the T-shirt will not survive the year.

On the one hand, yes, it's just a T-shirt and it really wasn't expensive, but there's so much history in this piece, so many clubs and festivals that the T-shirt has seen...
It's strange how much a T-shirt like that can drag you down...