"Once the rain is over, an umbrella becomes a burden to carry. - That's why loyalty ends when benefits stop."

Yeah...
I'm experiencing that a lot. As soon as their problems are solved or they have dumped their emotional burden on me there is suddenly no time to listen to my troubles...as soon as I start sharing I'm dropped or quickly disregarded with one sentence...and people wonder why I never open up and talk about things easily...

And once they stop benefiting from me altogether the friendship dies out... I'm not just worth being kept around just for the sake of it.
It's not like I haven't been struggling with self loathing for months and my self view wasn't already ruined on many levels...

Kinda been feeling bled dry lately and currently fleeing myself into an endless loop of doomwatching some historical documentaries post work.

I look at some upcoming events in my work and personal calendar that I've been looking forward to, and meanwhile I hear an inner voice whispering a quiet "why" to me....

I think I should take a vacation and go away... Far, far away from people

People who fear Covid in 2025 and wear masks all day have a mental illness, Your not protecting yourself from Covid, the Virus stopped killing people start of 2022 with omicron variant, Sorry you have a mental illness that's all it is please sort yourself out!

#Spain #energy #infrastructure #power #society #socialization #touch #humans #people #blackout

And the true socialization procedure started...

https://www.fastcompany.com/91326177/this-is-how-it-feels-at-the-beginning-of-the-end-of-the-world

Aand off to be fulfilling a function again...people pleasing at it's peak sacrificing at least 1h 30 of my free time do again doing something I will not receive an ounce gratitude for from the person im doing it for...oh the bliss of having family...

Crazy ass people thinking that if Vance wins in 2028, that he'll screw himself out of the Presidency for Trump, lol

Not only is that undemocratic, Winning and immediately resigning, but thats also stupid, lol.

You've got "Trump Derangement Syndrome" and you've also got, "Trump Addictionn Syndrome", and both are very bad mental disorders, lol

Dominicane

Either I'm too stupid for social interactions or I'm just getting along with private social understandings a lot less lately than I already do.

I really don't have many friends, which is a shame because I normally like company, but my last experiences with company or trying to socialize or make friends were more or less a disaster.
I'm beginning to suspect that this is more of a primal human feeling of envy, not having many friends (greed for something more) when I look at the whole thing reflectively.

It's just ridiculous how clear and open communication is thrown out the window and is seen as a strange, perverse kind of challenge to some people.

Sometimes wonder how people see me and what words they would use to describe me. And If it would sound as poetic as when people are described in books and songs. Because my own eyes and word's aren't very nice or poetic anymore.