Did a 5 minute stand up during open mic night at a local comedy club some years back. Not as easy as it looks. If you find yourself bombing, remember the Johnny Carson rule to get the crowd roaring again. A few good zingers about the McNugget or Judge Wapner should do the trick. If there's a bad joke about fast food or corny 80s icons, I haven't heard it yet!

I have been thinking of getting a facial piercing for a while now.. Do you think a labret would suit me ? Put a fake one on my lip a few weeks ago and took a picture. But I can't decide of I like or hate it. I kinda hate seeing myself in most of the selfies I take, except for cosplay pics in which im literally not myself. I have been struggling with body dismorphia and self-esteem a lot lately...so I need a confidence boost...

I've just been invited to an Easter bonfire with wine and bread by the Catholic parish that lives next door to my apartment.
And I think to myself; haha why not?

Maybe they'll try to convert me xD
Or in the worst case scenario, my blasphemous butt ends up in the first row on the fire :D

It was so clear once again; you're looking forward to a long weekend with the family, finally have the capacity to actively meet up with your social environment again after weeks (aka best conditions), only for something to come up again...

Now I have an extra long weekend just for myself again, although I was looking forward to going out with my family...

Maybe I'll just go out at the weekend anyway, even if it's just with myself

#cyberpunk #forest #elf #cyberelf #AI_generated

#elf #forest #AI_generated

I've done some reflecting today. I think I have unconciously been spiraling down the depression spiral since November with some high phases re-locating the issue in a very self destructive behavioral patterns. that has led to a distorted vision of myself and my personality. Now have a major setback in my self view and I hate many things about myself that I worked so hard on learning to love. Now I need to re-learn to love these things about myself.
How did it even come so far without ne noticing...

Somehow it has become hard for me to enjoy my socia shutdown alone time. Sometimes I just need to recharge my social batteries and shut myself in for a weekend doing things I enjoy alone like painting and sewing. And sometimes I need several weekends on a row.. But lately I often feel guilty doing this. Today too...Especially if others have asked if I wanna do something or join a get together. Even if they are understanding bc they are also introverted and get it. I feel like they just said it to be nice but are actually upset and think that I am selfish...
But a the same time I hate not having so much time for my hobbies anymore so I look forward to be able to spend an entire weekend on them. Is it selfish to prioritize this over social interactions? I have picked up all these hobbies in the past as way fix the loneliness I experienced for always being the odd one with very little friends. Now I love art more than people because it was always there for me when people weren't. I think thats why it makes me feel guilty now that there are people who want to spend time with me.
Lately I have been struggleing with this thought a lot...but I really need to recharge in order to not completely explode or break down.

Happy Saturday, heres a selfie from yesterday.

Hopefully USA sorts itself out.

Https://youtube.com/shorts/NtivnkNxrp0?si=Ojxxup5f8w8MgEFE