Wow what a shitty End for a vacation. Successfully ruined another persons day again just by trying to open up and share my fears and emotions in hopes to clear my anxiety that I had since yesterday...
But noo triggered somewhat of a fight and anxiety for the other side too.
Aaaaaand thats why I usually bottle things up. When I talk about it I piss people off or make them sad and that worsens my anxiety. Even when I thought hard about how I say it and what I say, it always goes down the wrong pipe and ends with the worst outcome...
Why do I even try again ana again it always ends in disappointment: either I'm a bad trigger or I'm as important as fucking chairs. After all im only good for listening not for talking about feelings. I just muck things up...

I feel like such a human failure...

Not like anyone cares but I'll blog it here anyways... Cause here at least I can pretend ppl care... I'm Ending vacation with a bad migraine attack and possibly an incubating flu. Great. Not like my I overall declining health has been enough strain in my body and mental health.

Maybe I shouldn't have made plans for Halloween at all... Just ended with a ruined evening and feeling bad about being the cause of it...

So this is too funny...I wake up around 6 to work out,slept in today. I was listening to this album and the creepy awsome into started playing,a wolf howls in the distance and my neighbors dumb dog is all "W00f ! W00f ! W0000f!" It fears the darkness !!!! Guess I know what songs I'm adding to my playlist,here is the album for all you cool cats. Astarte-Doomed Dark Years (2017) Black Metal. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O1fNcFBrTO4&list=RDO1fNcFBrTO4&start_radio=1&t=2289s&pp=ygUHYXN0YXJ0ZaAHAQ%3D%3D

Nothing is quite straight anymore. Our new album, Cattywompus 2025, has arrived.
https://youtu.be/r2A1BfnNAfA?si=JiCtqmnPH-dwxbGG

Today at work, we discussed and agreed on the last project weeks of the quarter.
Only 8 weeks left (with lots of potential for overtime)...
After that, I can finally go on vacation.

The Schumer Shutdown is basically a month long vacation for Useless (Oops, I meanzzz "Non-essential" federal employees

#DonaldTrump #Trump #PresidentTrump
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