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    One thing that this world has shown me is that those who are kind, good spirits will usually be attacked from birth onward and will have people talking crap about them even after they pass away, cold and alone with no one to hold. Those who are cruel, malicious, callous and vicious, will usually be praised, worshipped and live long happy lives of exploitation, manipulation and domination over others. They will usually pass peacefully with droves of loved ones they abused their whole lives around them, their victims continuing to sing their praises long after they have passed. It really boggles the mind. Recently my younger cousin passed away and her own mother was attempting to turn me against her at her daughters memorial. It was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. Two days ago my abusive step grandmother who abused me and all my siblings (to the point where my mother wouldn’t let us go to her house anymore), passed away and everyone is singing her praises. I’m disgusted by this world. Ashley suffered her entire life and died at the age of 34 with no one around her to hold or comfort her. Her own young daughter found her dead… grandma Donna on the other hand passed peacefully in a hospital in her 90s having suffered no major health issues her entire life, surrounded by droves of worshippers who are singing her praises. When i politely asked my step father to stop texting me about it and i explained why, i was told I’m “bitter, malignant and unforgiving”… Ashley didn’t deserve what happened to her yet no one had a kind word to say about her at her own memorial despite her kindness and good spirit. She never harmed or abused anyone a day in her life and yet her mother relentlessly harassed her until her death. Grandma donna? Everyone thinks she’s the best thing since sliced butter after she let our step cousins bully my half brother to the point where my mom had to keep us from that side of the family for our safety. I’m disgusted by their love of evil. I said what I said.
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  • The Netflix menendez brothers series is good.
    The Netflix menendez brothers series is good.
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    when your big brother suddenly calls you and asks for your opinion/advice...🥺 That was the first time in our entire life he came to me seeking advice on something serious...😭 We never had a normal sibling relationship as we are both neurodivergent and quite polar opposites. While I'm bubbly, emotional and empahtic. My brother is more silent broody and proud. So this has led to a a bit of friction and distance in the past... Just now I finally feel like we are on eye level and accept each others strenghts and shortcomings and seek help from each other do make up for our shorts. Like our relationship has finally been mended.😭😭😭
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    Ahhh. 😩 My depression & anxiety is back to a 10. Three days ago we where told we have to move because our landlord is selling our home. Again. We were not finically prepared and have only 1 option. Noah n I r moving into a trailer at my fathers, I can’t bring my animals because they will b confined n neglected. My dog I’ve had 8years barks if left alone, n we both work full time. Etc. PJ is looking for a place to live, my nephew has to move back to Arizona, he’s been with me since my brother passed away n our friend/roommate was crying in our driveway when we pulled in last night from taking a load of my stuff to storage. This has made me physically ill. I’m soooooooo unhappy with moving into this situation however no one has the $ to pay first,last night security deposit @ a new place this fast other then our roommate n I, n I go out of the country for a month sept 3. I’m very worried about the stress this is gonna put in my relationship with pj & I’m still trying to finish my paintings for my solo show in a week in Orlando. I’m gonna make the best out of it, but it’s very hard to see anything positive about it. Living on my father’s property is immensely repressive and his personally is unusually difficult. he kicked us out 3 months ago because of small annoyances. He gave us 2 days to move. I swore I would never return & I stopped shooting daily life videos then because I’ve been so depressed. I just got on medication for my depression a week ago. Ahhh, the eggshells to walk on with my father or it will happen again. I have had no stability since 2018. Moving constantly, Landloards selling my home repeatedly without enough time to properly prepare for next chapter. I’m soooo glad I was never able to have kids, just seeing the stress this has put on my relationships & animals is horrible. I can’t imagine dragging a child through the shit that has been my life. I don’t share this to often, it’s to private and ugly, but this has been the second worse chapter of my life. With all the death, displacement & deletion of the platforms I have worked so hard on, it’s been very hard to want to move forward. My x that left me in 2018, when this all started. Loosing my st pete home I was in 8 years n my resort, often joked that “my life was in shambles”. Loosing him was devastating during that change. I’m grateful for PJ & Noah for sticking around. PJ 15 years, Noah 3 years. I’ve moved 7 times since I’ve been with Noah the last 3 years. This will be the 8th. PJ was crying in his sleep last night. His girlfriend of 4 years just ended it with him a month ago & he’s been taking it very hard. (Pj, Noah & I are polyamorous) I’m lucky in that field. There is sooooooo much more but that’s is only the stuff that I can say publicly. I have cryed soooo much in the last couple days my mussels hurt & im dehydrated. I wish I had 3 months to prepare. It’s 3-4am n I can’t sleep and I have work at 5am. I just want my life to stop sucking. I’m sick of pretending everything is ok. I just want to be ok. Even if only for 6 months without loosing someone or something huge. At least I no longer have to sleep in the bed, in the bedroom of my x Drew who died a year ago while he had been living with us off n on for 10 years. I still dream of him, not living in our space will help me move on from that trama. There is a silver ligning. 😩 Instagram.com/XZanthia_OctoShroom
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  • #earthquake #brother
    #earthquake #brother
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  • Stay strong out there, brothers.
    Stay strong out there, brothers.
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  • Enjoyed getting to see my brother drum with his band Corpse Hole
    Enjoyed getting to see my brother drum with his band Corpse Hole
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    Cry, little sister! (Thou shalt not fall) Come, come to your brother! (Thou shalt not die) Unchain me, sister! (Thou shalt not fear) Love is with your brother! (Thou shalt not kill) https://youtu.be/woORloUS_3A?si=5DFFRM2IsQR3VnlU
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    The troll sat on a stone and shouted: HEY!1 Who has poured out my mead? But no animal neither in the wood nor the cave’s depth knew who had emptied out the forest troll's drink. The troll sat on a stone and shouted: HEY! Who has trampled down my mushrooms? But neither animal in the forest nor child of the sky knew who had stamped down the entire field. The troll sat on a stone and shouted: HEY! Mead and meat to the wise one! Neither animal in the wood nor cave troll's child knew those were the only things the troll still had left. And the rats whispered to the troll: The Christians have spilled your mead! The Christians have trampled your mushrooms! The Christians have beaten your brothers! Then the troll got angry and stood up from his stone, he went to the Christian land and burned down the hideous church. https://youtu.be/m5PCEO6DP64
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  • Anybody else love The Venture brothers? Fucking hilarious and ridiculous...it's great.
    Anybody else love The Venture brothers? Fucking hilarious and ridiculous...it's great.
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