Aand off to be fulfilling a function again...people pleasing at it's peak sacrificing at least 1h 30 of my free time do again doing something I will not receive an ounce gratitude for from the person im doing it for...oh the bliss of having family...

I forgot how insufferable my brother can be... Why did I even suggest to go on a family trip over Easter....
We went to Trier but basically saw nothing of the culture / history there just walked aimlessly in the old town because mister couldn't make up his mind and all he did was complaining. Now I'm just overstimulated, annoyed and angry because I really wanted to see more of the place... But who listens to me?

It was so clear once again; you're looking forward to a long weekend with the family, finally have the capacity to actively meet up with your social environment again after weeks (aka best conditions), only for something to come up again...

Now I have an extra long weekend just for myself again, although I was looking forward to going out with my family...

Maybe I'll just go out at the weekend anyway, even if it's just with myself

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-announces-unprecedented-move-to-cancel-biden-s-pardons-for-january-6-committee/ar-AA1B62vB?ocid=msedgntp&pc=NMTS&cvid=f819b02cce4b4bd19cdc272dc362c66b&ei=18#comments

"Trump announces unprecedented move to cancel Biden's pardons for January 6 committee"

I say do it, Cancel those Biden pardons, If they were done with that Autopen and not his real signature, then I'd say, that makes them null and void, plus you throw in the fact that pardoning people who have not been charged of a crime, should also make those pardons, illegal.

All Biden or whoever stamped his name on those pardons did, was highlight the people who committed crimes, Fauci, killed millions of ppl worldwide, The J6 committee engaged in illegally destroying evidence that would have shown that J6 was a false flag attack against President Trump, and the Biden Crime Family should be prosecuted for their crimes.

I am so drained by all of this...I feel like I'm the glue holding this situation together. I kept suprisingly calm when others couldn't and had my anxiety under control, sacrificed my comfort zone for others and swallowed my dicsontent and annoyedness for the sake of peace in this severe situation bc in this situation a familly fight would be the worst and I am also very harmony desireing & driven. I only have the strenght to do this because I care about my family so much.

But now things are kinda decided over my head, and I will only get my space back for a mere few days before I'm indruded upon again. I would not say no but at least, it would be nice and considerate to include me into the decision over my own space and listen to my opinion on what would be the best and most helpful in this situation.

I just wanna hit pause and have a bit of a breather... I am so overwhlemed by the general situation And can't do most of the things that are emotional ventiles for me, because of permantely having to function. I even got sick myself and still functioned for others. I am the one who doesn't have the luxury of getting to be overwhelmed right now...I have to function permanently until I go to bed at night becaue I am the tape that holds things right now.

I'm so mentally exhausted of having to host a visitor in my apartment. Even though it's family and even though I would haver never said no in this situation...Its only been 3 days and its gonna be for 2 weeks...it will feel like forever. I am not used to permanently have people around me and kinda enjoy being alone after work not having to talk to anybody. Unfortunately my guest doesn't get this and thinks she has to talk to me or help me with chores all the time out of politeness. Even when I say it's fine she can chill, she thinks I only say that to be polite and don't mean it. But I fucking do!!! Just leave me alone for 5 fucking minutes at least. Don't followme around to the kitchen!!!

CBGB was a club in the late 70's and 80's where one could go for a Chocolate malt and meet up with school chums for that wholesome family fun time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaPrb5WkJ-0

One thing that this world has shown me is that those who are kind, good spirits will usually be attacked from birth onward and will have people talking crap about them even after they pass away, cold and alone with no one to hold. Those who are cruel, malicious, callous and vicious, will usually be praised, worshipped and live long happy lives of exploitation, manipulation and domination over others. They will usually pass peacefully with droves of loved ones they abused their whole lives around them, their victims continuing to sing their praises long after they have passed. It really boggles the mind.

Recently my younger cousin passed away and her own mother was attempting to turn me against her at her daughters memorial. It was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. Two days ago my abusive step grandmother who abused me and all my siblings (to the point where my mother wouldn’t let us go to her house anymore), passed away and everyone is singing her praises. I’m disgusted by this world. Ashley suffered her entire life and died at the age of 34 with no one around her to hold or comfort her. Her own young daughter found her dead… grandma Donna on the other hand passed peacefully in a hospital in her 90s having suffered no major health issues her entire life, surrounded by droves of worshippers who are singing her praises. When i politely asked my step father to stop texting me about it and i explained why, i was told I’m “bitter, malignant and unforgiving”… Ashley didn’t deserve what happened to her yet no one had a kind word to say about her at her own memorial despite her kindness and good spirit. She never harmed or abused anyone a day in her life and yet her mother relentlessly harassed her until her death. Grandma donna? Everyone thinks she’s the best thing since sliced butter after she let our step cousins bully my half brother to the point where my mom had to keep us from that side of the family for our safety. I’m disgusted by their love of evil. I said what I said.

I'd like to thank that one caller on Saturday who couldn't spell my name or listen to me spell it for her; so she told me I'm pronouncing it wrong "because Americans always pronounce it wrong."

If it weren't for her not being American, I would have continued my 36th year on this planet thinking I was pronouncing my own name correctly. My life is changed, forever! If I had a relationship with my family, I'd let them know, too.

#family