The stability was nice while it lasted. We were in stasis and did not even realize our good fortune. The disruption to our stability to which I refer is having to move because our landlord hints that he wants to sell the property that we are renting; although he has not outright told us to vacate, he has sent a real estate broker a couple of times to complete appraisals of the property and repair costs. He does not commit to either selling or offering a new lease to sign, and this is creating a lot of anxiety for us.

Logically, I know I can move. It's a no-brainer that I can rip the bandaid off now and be done with it;  I don't have to put up with this uncertainty. However, I also have to consider how this will affect the rest of my family, who have grown so fond of living in this neighborhood and have become attached to the people in the community. Personally, I wouldn't be too bothered if I never saw some of the nosier, slack-jawed neighbors; there is something to be said for peace of mind. Again, however, I have to consider what is best for those I live with; it is no easy thing to raise children because one's wants and needs take the backburner to those of the children. And so the pot of anxieties boils on...

When I consider the bigger picture, I begin to realize that I hunger to be my own boss because I am tired of being told what to do. I want to achieve financial stability and independence so that I never have to worry about a capricious landlord or manager shaking up my centered position. To achieve this, though, requires patience, wisdom, and support (of which, I am unfortunately in short supply of).

I need to plan. I pray that the barriers and distractions stand down, affording me the ability to find clarity and to progress. I am compelled to succeed (which sounds hokey AF, perhaps more appropriate to a dollar store peel-off inspirational wall banner or a Barnes and Noble bargain book of hollow mantras, but I don't care). I will achieve what I want. Perhaps this shakedown of stability in the form of being torn away from what is comfortable and known is the first step.