Im thinking of quitting inktober (yet again) before i even really started on it. Idk just the thought of planning and actually making an ink drawing every day stresses me out. Although it was something that I easily did in the past. Even multiple ones a day... I think it's because of not having as much time to invest in art anymore I kinda lost my connection to it. I rarely get to sit down to actually paint. Every year I start the inktober challeng in hope to get my connection back but every time for the past 3 years I end up having to quit halfway through for multiple reasons like getting behind lacking time. This year I'm already stressed about having to catch up on the first few days that I missed. Maybe I just had a bad start...I wanted to warm up by finishing one of least years works that I never got to complete and I totally messed it up and on top it tore apart when I tried to remove the one year old masking tape... Seems like an omen... I will still dedicate this month to art and especially watercolor painting. But I think I will not do the inktober challenge for now. Maybe I will get to do the last half of it later but just now I need to get back into the peaceful/mindful mindset that I need for doing watercolor. Pushing myself with a challenge will not help here. I started watching YouTube draw with me videos of one of my favorite artists there. It helps getting back into watercolors and Inks.

I thought I'd finally have time to draw and try doing inktober again. But for some reason I can't wind down and relax. My hands rush through the sketch as if I had to be somewhere and I can't get lost in my artwork and escape. It's so frustrating and aggravating which leads to mistakes and me hating tie pictures in the end. 😭why can't my mind settle down?! I just wanted to draw 😥 I was already disappointed yesterday because my tablet didn't arrive and now today is not fun either 😫

Has anyone try spacehey it reminds me of MySpace

I cannot be the only one. When I see names of lovers engraved on a tree, I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates. Mind you it could also explain the disappearances.

Shared by Unfiltered Feels on Facebook four days ago: When a mother loses a baby, their DNA doesn’t just disappear. It lives inside of her. Little fragments of them stay woven into her blood, her bones, her very being. She carries them forever, even when the world assumes she’s “moved on.” Science calls it microchimerism. But mothers call it love that never left. Her baby’s cells cross into her body and stay there for a lifetime. A physical reminder that they were real, they existed, they mattered. So even when her arms are empty, she is never truly without them. Their presence lingers in her body, her heartbeat, her cells. She doesn’t just remember them… she holds them, every single day, in ways no one can see. Motherhood doesn’t end with loss. It lives on in her body. It lives on in her soul. It lives on in the love that never had the chance to grow old. She carries her baby forever. Not just in her heart. But in every part of who she is.

Saw this on Facebook shared by Alexis Palmer one day ago: "Somewhere, there’s a woman: 30 years old, no children. People ask her, “Still no kids?” She forces a smile. “Not yet.” Later, she cries… because she’s had miscarriages, because IVF didn’t work, because she’s tried for years, because her heart aches every time she’s asked that question. Somewhere else, there’s a woman: 34, five children. People say, “Five? I hope you’re done!” They laugh like it’s funny. She laughs too, politely. Later, she cries… because she wanted a big family, because her Granny had 12, because she’s tired of the judgment, because people assume she’s irresponsible, because no one sees how much love and care she pours into her kids. And then there’s another woman: 40, one child. People ask, “Only one? Didn’t you want more?” She smiles, “I’m happy with my one.” Later, she cries… because her one was a miracle, because she wanted more, because her body or life circumstances won’t allow it, because people don’t know the battles she’s already fought. 💔 These women are everywhere. They are our sisters, our neighbors, our coworkers, our friends. Their wombs are not community property. Their choices are not public business. Their pain is not ours to poke at with casual comments and “funny” jokes. So here’s the reminder: 👉 Whether it’s no kids, five kids, or one kid—it’s not your place to question. 👉 Respect their journey. Respect their story. Respect their silence. Because you never know what tears are hidden behind that smile." [Nadirah Angail]

Unfortunatelly my Toby has a agressive tumor on his leg... monday will to more exames to see if the tumor has already spread through his body... no easy decions... to operate his leg he has to do chemotherapy and hope that the cancer reduces... but only if the results of analisys show tha the cancer will be affected by chemo.. if not... we have 2 choices... amputate the leg... or leavit... and start threating him with medicine to ease the pain that he migth have... and give him tehe best life quality possible.. my heart his twice broken... broken because i will miss him ... and broken because he came to us some months affer my dad passed away with cancer... and he became my mothers companion...and it will devastating for her... not the passing... but the absence of his presence... because for 8 years he followed her everywhere.. and everywhere she looks... she will be reminded off him.. i will too.. sorry for venting... but it's been couple rough days.... 😢

#precognition #ESP #brains #mind #Consciousness #CIA https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a66102466/scientific-proof-of-precognition/

Even the worst Taliban or Isis terrorist has a more pure mind than these Psychiatric doctors. & MY Loathing & Hate is definately the strongest & most Just - I AM RIGHT PERIOD

The idiot Psychiatry in Sweden (RättsmedicinalVerket) do you really think i cannot steer my mindd. Butt ohhh they give you worthless neuroleptica Abilify & crap that makes you Worse you all deserves to Be LIQUIDATED like in Ukraine. Do you really think you can force me to follow your LAWS im gonna take eveyry Chemical i FEEL LIKE THIS IS A PROMISE & THREAT. & especiallly the Juridical system im gonna erase your Offices & it will be WORSE for you the the Apartment bombs MUch worse .. THIS will be Swift & effective. IM Gonna do the Righteous thing for All the People you have deceived & forced with your idiot Medezines . BE READY FOR BATTLE .