Somehow it has become hard for me to enjoy my socia shutdown alone time. Sometimes I just need to recharge my social batteries and shut myself in for a weekend doing things I enjoy alone like painting and sewing. And sometimes I need several weekends on a row.. But lately I often feel guilty doing this. Today too...Especially if others have asked if I wanna do something or join a get together. Even if they are understanding bc they are also introverted and get it. I feel like they just said it to be nice but are actually upset and think that I am selfish...
But a the same time I hate not having so much time for my hobbies anymore so I look forward to be able to spend an entire weekend on them. Is it selfish to prioritize this over social interactions? I have picked up all these hobbies in the past as way fix the loneliness I experienced for always being the odd one with very little friends. Now I love art more than people because it was always there for me when people weren't. I think thats why it makes me feel guilty now that there are people who want to spend time with me.
Lately I have been struggleing with this thought a lot...but I really need to recharge in order to not completely explode or break down.

Posting on the feed is like having sex. It's a pain staking arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think everything's going your way....nothing happens.

#painting
Claus Bergen - "Rough sea under a cloudy sky"

#ancient #Greece #Greek #Hellenic #Hellas #Roman #statues #GrecoRoman #perfumes #fragrances #Delos
https://www.labrujulaverde.com/en/2025/03/a-study-reveals-that-greek-and-roman-statues-were-not-only-painted-and-adorned-with-textiles-and-jewelry-but-also-perfumed/

A silent sin fell upon the soul of humanity and in a burning second, a whirlwind of pain and death came to humanity🐦‍🔥

I guess it's up to the Eurofags to supply Ukraine with weapons. It's fine if we no longer fund their effort against Putin, if you Magas remember was a top KGB agent and enemy of the USA, let's see what's on the shelf. Britain is not alone in cutting its armed forces in response to the end of the Cold War. That trend in Europe is slowly being reversed, with more nations increasing defence spending. France, Spain, kicking it up a notch. My beef isn't with us cutting ties. It has more to do with Republicans cozying up to an Ogliarch who sucks the cock of an obvious enemy of freedom and human rights.

#pain #BDSM

THIS IS MY ORIGINAL MUSIC & PAINTINGS !!! more @XZanthia.music

Please check out more of my music & art @
XZanthia.com
#hellpop #creaturecosplay #monstercosplay #monstercore #creaturecore #dommymommy #creepygirl #creepycosplay #clowncore #emo #gothchick #pastelgoth #goth
#darkpop #evilpop

#gothic #gothgirl #alternative #dark #creepyart #gothicstyle #gothgoth #gothaesthetic #gothicgirl #metal #alternativegirl
#steampunkgirl #art #helloween #Dominantwoman

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It's my birthday. I'm as exhausted and in pain as any other day as a chronic migraineur, but I can't stop thinking of this scene when I think about my age.

Wow I was oddly productive this evening. I finished up the last touches on that wig, tidied up my studio, and finished 2 small paintings that I had lying around unfinished for a year or so...All all of that despite barely being able to stay awake at work :D
I guess it is time to pass out now...