Saturday night live! I'll be taking requests tonight. And don't forget to tip your lovely hostesses for the T&A.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAuydELbLkU

Lately, I've been noticing again how I'm becoming emotionally hardened and how everything feels surreal and intangible. However, it's currently at a level of severity that I last felt 7-8 years ago, when I was emotionally dead and constantly wearing a mask that was stuck on.

I wake up at night with my head in chaos and wonder if I can even comprehend or understand the right answers at the moment.

Sometimes I just lie there and stare into the darkness, as if it owes me some kind of answer. But it remains silent. Just like everything else. It feels more like I'm just running through memories of myself.

It's strange... I'm still functioning. I get up, talk to people, do things, smile at the right moments. From the outside, it probably looks normal. Maybe even stable. But inside, it feels like I'm playing a role whose lines I learned by heart long ago, without even knowing why I'm on this stage in the first place.

Black Canary "Back Ally Shift"
Two years ago, I took advantage of this awesome back alley to make this crossplay as Black Canary happen. The LED lighting was perfect in assisting me with the right lighting in the right place, where I could create a scene similar to Batman and Green Arrow comic books, along with some fan artwork I drew from. The city of Camdenton is great for anyone who wants to do cosplays and goths without going to the big cities. Sometimes, the good old small towns tend to have what you need and want to make your day that much better. That July night was definitely one of them.

Keira Knightley Atonement. I have this book, but never read it. It's been sitting on my shelf for more than 5 years.

my 34
voices through people at me
break lights dance across windows in silence
leaving behind thoughts of broken glass
good morningstar ill be in last night all day
BoreDom wants to tie me up by my ankles and tie me down by my hands
her craving for my difficulty demands
first simplification
finding the wrong questions by dissecting the right answers
i cant do anything but laugh at the hopeless ignorance of it all

because its funny

New dance night in CT. Plugging here in case it should be on your radar…

I feel better now that I'm back working into the night. I hate getting up early and this schedule suits me just fine. Too bad nary a soul is active here anymore this late...or ever. I'm getting hammered and I'll just have to harass myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PicH3ynjpRI

Five nights @ Diddys

Guess who didn't catch up on sleep last night and is also doing overtime again I'm so freaking tired of this shit..