Putting in genuine effort feels like wasted effort sometimes. It's like people have this standard of movie-like perfection that just doesn't exist naturally, or without proper communication.
I feel humiliated and depressed, and on top of that I feel like the bad guy for having those emotions.
I feel like I've put genuine thought and effort into making this person feel important. I've stuck by and listened; really, genuinely listened.
All of that just to be left waiting, without any kind of heads up, flowers and gifts in hand, all dressed up and wanting to make it a special day.
Only to be stood up and told that no man has ever or will ever put any kind of real effort.
Was it not enough effort? Or am I just not a man?
I let myself be vulnerable enough to want to build a relationship again.
Even if it wasn't meant as a direct attack, I still feel disrespected.
I had no foul intentions. And my feeling were true.
I'm still processing how to feel and respond.
Idk, I'm just ranting and venting here so I can get it out of my system.
I didn't think I'd feel this hurt.
But oh well, love finds a way.
With someone, at some point in my life. Maybe someone else.
I'm going to keep putting in that effort, but for someone who appreciates the little gestures as much as the grand gestures.
I have my friends, I have my dog, and I have myself.
The rest will work itself out when it's time I guess.
Putting in genuine effort feels like wasted effort sometimes. It's like people have this standard of movie-like perfection that just doesn't exist naturally, or without proper communication.
I feel humiliated and depressed, and on top of that I feel like the bad guy for having those emotions.
I feel like I've put genuine thought and effort into making this person feel important. I've stuck by and listened; really, genuinely listened.
All of that just to be left waiting, without any kind of heads up, flowers and gifts in hand, all dressed up and wanting to make it a special day.
Only to be stood up and told that no man has ever or will ever put any kind of real effort.
Was it not enough effort? Or am I just not a man?
I let myself be vulnerable enough to want to build a relationship again.
Even if it wasn't meant as a direct attack, I still feel disrespected.
I had no foul intentions. And my feeling were true.
I'm still processing how to feel and respond.
Idk, I'm just ranting and venting here so I can get it out of my system.
I didn't think I'd feel this hurt.
But oh well, love finds a way.
With someone, at some point in my life. Maybe someone else.
I'm going to keep putting in that effort, but for someone who appreciates the little gestures as much as the grand gestures.
I have my friends, I have my dog, and I have myself.
The rest will work itself out when it's time I guess.
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